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Chapters (50)
  1. ABOUT THE BOOK
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. TITLE PAGE
  4. INTRODUCTION
  5. A NOTE ON THE ILLUSTRATIONS
  6. TITUS GROAN
  7. The Hall of the Bright Carvings
  8. The Great Kitchen
  9. Swelter
  10. The Stone Lanes
  11. ‘The Spy-Hole’
  12. Fuchsia
  13. ‘Tallow and Birdseed’
  14. A Gold Ring for Titus
  15. Sepulchrave
  16. Prunesquallor’s Knee-Cap
  17. The Attic
  18. The Frivolous Cake
  19. ‘Mrs Slagg By Moonlight’
  20. Keda
  21. ‘First Blood’
  22. ‘Assemblage’
  23. ‘Titus is Christened’
  24. Means of Escape
  25. ‘A Field of Flagstones’
  26. ‘Over the Roofscape’
  27. ‘Near and Far’
  28. ‘Dust and Ivy’
  29. ‘The Body by the Window’
  30. ‘Ullage of Sunflower’
  31. Soap for Greasepaint
  32. At the Prunesquallors
  33. A Gift of the Gab
  34. While the Old Nurse Dozes
  35. Flay Brings a Message
  36. The Library
  37. In a Lime-Green Light
  38. Reintroducing the Twins
  39. ‘The Fir-Cones’
  40. Keda and Rantel
  41. The Room of Roots
  42. ‘Inklings of Glory’
  43. ‘Preparations for Arson’
  44. The Grotto
  45. Knives in the Moon
  46. ‘The Sun Goes Down Again’
  47. ‘Meanwhile’
  48. ‘The Burning’
  49. And Horses Took Them Home
  50. COVER

‘Lady Fuchsia,’ said Steerpike, ‘what work is there that I can do? Will you introduce me to someone who can employ me? I am not a kitchen lackey, my Ladyship. I am a man of purpose. Hide me tonight, Lady Fuchsia, and let me meet someone tomorrow who may employ me. All I want is one interview. My brains will do the rest.’

Fuchsia stared at him, open mouthed. Then she thrust her full lower lip forward and said:

‘What’s the awful smell?’

‘It’s the filthy dregs you drowned me in,’ said Steerpike. ‘It’s my face you’re smelling.’

‘Oh,’ said Fuchsia. She took up the candle again. ‘You’d better follow.’

Steerpike did so, out of the door, along the balcony, and then down the ladder. Fuchsia did not think of helping him in the ill-lit darkness, though she heard him stumble. Steerpike kept as close to her as he could and the little patch of faint candlelight on the floor which preceded her, but as she threaded her way dexterously between the oddments that lay banked up in the first attic, he was more than once struck across the face, by a hanging rope of spiked seashells, by the giraffe’s leg which Fuchsia ducked beneath, and once he was brought to a gasping halt by the brass hilt of a sword.

When he had reached the head of the spiral staircase Fuchsia was already halfway down and he wound after her, cursing.

After a long time he felt the close air of the staircase lighten about him and a few moments later he had come to the last of the descending circles and had stepped down into a bedroom. Fuchsia lit a lamp on the wall. The blinds were not drawn and the black night filled up the triangles of her window.

She was pouring from a jug the water which Steerpike so urgently needed. The smell was beginning to affect him, for as he had stepped down into the room he had retched incontinently, with his thin, bony hands at his stomach.

At the gurgling sound of the water as it slopped into the bowl on Fuchsia’s washstand he drew a deep breath through his teeth. Fuchsia, hearing his foot descend upon the boards of her room, turned, jug in hand, and as she did so she overflooded the bowl with a rush of water which in the lamplight made bright pools on the dark ground. ‘Water,’ she said, ‘if you want it.’

Steerpike advanced rapidly to the basin and plucked off his coat and vest, and stood beside Fuchsia in the darkness very thin, very bunched at the shoulders, and with an extraordinary perkiness in the poise of his body.