When she had found out about Lenny and Reggie it had made her feel less than a woman, especially when she remembered how vicious he could be with a few drinks in him. It amazed her to think just how under his influence she had been. She had lived her life only around him and her boys. She felt as if she had woken up suddenly and the world was a much brighter place. Her only worry was how the boys would react to the relationship with Ray, now it was on a more permanent footing.

Ray had told her that he loved her and wanted to be with her and the boys as a proper family. She loved that he had said that he did not want to take Lenny’s place. He had been their father and they would never be allowed to forget that fact. But Ray was willing to be a good stepfather to them. He said he already loved them because they were from her body – they were a part of her, so how could he not want the best for them?

Her other worry was Big Lenny. They had never really got back on any kind of good footing and she knew that Lesley blamed her for that and felt that she was trying to keep the boys away from her. How could she tell her the truth of it? How could she confide in someone who thought she had the voice of God in her ear twenty-four hours a day? Who would be mortified to think that her husband had tried to have a relationship with her dead son’s wife, insinuating that she needed a man and he was the man for the job. To make matters worse, Big Lenny knew that Reggie had sussed him out and that did not augur well for any of them. She sighed with sadness. Why couldn’t life be easier? Why did it have to always throw her a fucking curveball when she least expected it?

She busied herself making more tea for her and Gerry. She would put the shit that had accrued since Lenny’s death from her mind. She was happy and she intended to stay that way.

Chapter One Hundred and Seven