“Ugh,” Lydia says, rubbing her arms. “All the lies.”

“I feel like that’s a vital part of the whole teen-rebellion thing,” Claudia offers. “And, like…Eventually, your parents will just assume you’re on birth control, so you won’t have to have some big discussion. It’s not like they’re my parents, you know?”

“I know,” Lydia says. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

She pushes herself out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her. I guess I could move to the front passenger seat, but I stay in the back, pulling my legs to my chest.

“This is weird,” I say, piercing the silence. “I never thought I’d come here. I figured I wouldn’t have any reason to even think about sex.”

“Please,” Claudia says. “You think about sex more than anyone I know. What are you talking about?”

Ugh. Claudia and Lydia are the first—and best—friends I’ve made at Sacred Heart. Part of me, something deep in my stomach, feels like I should be able to tell them that I’m HIV positive.

“I don’t know.” I push my hair back. “Just because I think about it doesn’t mean it’ll happen.” I leave my other thought unsaid: Just because I think about a particular guy all the time doesn’t mean anything will happen.

She turns, raising a dark brow at me. Her hair is short, a bob cut that hasn’t grown an inch since the first day I met her, and she has the same tan skin as my dad.

“Do you wanna tell me something, kid?”

I scrunch my lips together. Claudia Perez is not the type of person I want to keep secrets from, but this is secret. The biggest one I’ve got. I don’t think she would tell, but I don’t actually know.

“Simone,” Claudia presses. “What’s up?”

“I just…” I look down. Study sheets litter the floor, and I crush them under my feet. “I just can’t picture anyone wanting to do it with me.”

“Why not?” Her voice is sharp. “I’d have sex with you, if I were into it. You’re awesome.”

I laugh, despite myself. “Do you know how weird you sound?”

“Well, who cares?” She shifts again, giving me a half smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want to bang you?”

I’m not sure what to say. Lydia opens the passenger door, sliding in. Her face is flushed, and there’s a small white bag in her hand. We wait in silence for her to say something.

“She was the nicest lady ever,” Lydia finally says, heaving a sigh. “I don’t know why I was so worried. She was nice on the phone, too, and answered all my questions.”

I squeeze her shoulder. “I’m so proud of you, babe.”

“Yuppp.” Claudia smacks her hands against the steering wheel like it’s a drum. “Lydia’s the best.”