Eileen gives me a sheepish smile. “I’m behind with the rest of these guys.” She gestures to the kennels around us. Most of them are empty right now, the dogs choosing to be outside in the sunshine instead of indoors. “Was just giving this guy a little extra love.”

“He deserves it,” I say, giving Patch another pet before standing. “I can get started on the rest of the crew.”

“I’ll get back to the filing,” Sydney says, heading toward the door that leads to the office. “Same system, Eileen?”

“Yes! Thank you, Sydney.”

Sydney smiles and disappears into the office.

“I’ll be lost next year without you.”

“Next fall is still a ways away.” I force a smile, trying to ignore the twinge of anxiety the mention of college prompts. It sparks apprehension about where I’ll end up and how different it might be from what I’m used to.

I’ve looked forward to leaving for college for years. It’s a step forward, a chance to meet new people and have new experiences. Finally embarking on my planned path.

I feel stuck in Pembrooke. Everything about my life is expected and confined. Ever since my family moved here back when I was in elementary school, I’ve been the nice, quiet, smart girl. The girl who gets good grades and doesn’t get drunk. I didn’t realize how claustrophobic that was until recently, when I experienced the rush of the unexpected. And somehow, it made me more conflicted about leaving Pembrooke. Reticent, almost.

Especially since I discovered on Friday night, I don’t have to leave to feel a thrill. To me, it feels like the thrill is tied to a person, not a place.

Cleaning out cages and measuring kibble keeps my hands busy, but my mind has nothing to do but wander. I know the mountain of paperwork Sydney is working on will take the couple of hours we usually spend here. Eileen left to help Susan with the puppies and then to feed the cats. I’m alone in the cavernous space, stuck with my thoughts.

I run through the list of assignments I need to finish tonight. Brainstorm ideas for my college essay. The prompt is Describe an experience that is essential to who you are. I can’t come up with anything that doesn’t sound boring or average. Getting good grades and volunteering here are what were supposed to help me get into college. It didn’t allow for many memorable experiences. Humping Holden Adams is the most memorable thing that’s happened to me lately.