Holden sighs. “I hate how he still skips out. I know it’s his job—know he’s providing for us the only way he knows how. But it feels like abandonment too, you know? Like not sticking around the one place you’re needed.”

I don’t respond right away. I’m floored, not only by what he’s saying, but that he’s saying it at all. Opening up to me, without me even asking.

“Have you ever said anything to him?”

“No. We’re basically adults—I am one, legally. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It can still matter, Holden.”

“I told him not to change anything next year. Chances are good I’ll be here regardless.”

“Why are they good?”

He glances over. “My grades are shit. Basketball is a wild card. I could get injured next game and never play again.”

“You beat Covington last week by twenty points. Chances are good you’ll have options.”

He glances over, his serious expression turning into a smirk. “Twenty points, huh?”

I shrug. “I checked the school site.”

“You do that often?”

“After every one of your games for the past three years.” It’s terrifying and relieving to admit. To give him a glimpse into the ways I’ve held onto him. How far from over him I really am.

His expression softens as we approach my car. It’s one of the few left in the lot, aside from his truck.

“I won’t be home tonight. I promised Finn I’d come over. He’s having a party.”

“Oh.”

“It’ll probably run past Syd’s bedtime if you want to come.”

“You’re inviting me to Finn’s party?”

He nods, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth. “If you want to come.”

“What would I tell Sydney?”

Holden shoves his hands into his pockets. “You could tell her the truth.”

That suggestion is just as shocking as the invitation itself. She’s my best friend and his sister. It involves permanence. Seriousness.

He smiles, probably in response to my shocked expression. “You can think about it. Totally up to you.”

I nod, still numb with shock. He kisses me, deep and somehow sweet. Then turns and heads for his truck.

I stand in place, frozen and upright.

But it feels like I’m falling, too.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CASSIA

Sydney lifts one hand from under the blankets to point at one of the characters on the screen. “Do you think he’s lying?”

“Hmm?” I refocus on the movie playing on the television screen.

Sydney huffs. “You aren’t even watching.”

“I am. I’m just…” Distracted. “Tired.”

“And yet you always stay up way later than me.”

I say nothing, contemplating the segue. If I replied with “I was waiting up for Holden,” what would she say? Would she be angry? Excited?