He smiles reassuringly, consults a folder. ‘Next, you’ll need to choose a stage name. Many actors in the past did that, and opera singers and magicians as well. Harry Houdini was born Erik Weisz, Bob Dylan was Robert Zimmerman, Stevie Wonder was Steveland Judkins.’ He’s looked these names up on the Internet, searching stage-alter egos. He knows only some of them: he adds a few younger ones each time he gives this speech. ‘Movie stars do it, not to mention rockers and rappers. Snoop Dog was Calvin Broadus. You see what I mean? So think up your stage name. It’s like a handle.’

There are nods and murmurs. The seasoned actors already have their stage names from earlier productions. They’re smiling now: they welcome the return of this other self of theirs, standing there like a costume, ready for them to assume.

Felix pauses, steels himself for the hard sell. ‘Now. This year’s play.’ He writes on the whiteboard, using a red marker: THE TEMPEST. ‘So,’ he says. ‘You’ve been given the playbook in advance, you’ve got my notes, you’ve had time to read up on it.’ For a few of them this is true only in a manner of speaking, since they’re third-grade level at best. They’ll improve, however: their team will improve them. They’ll be hauled up the stairs of literacy step by step.

‘I’ll start with the keynotes,’ Felix continues. ‘These are the important things to look for when we’re figuring out how to present this play.’

Using the blue marker, he writes:

IT’S A MUSICAL: HAS THE MOST MUSIC + SONGS IN SHKSPR. MUSIC USED FOR WHAT?

MAGIC: USED FOR WHAT?

PRISONS: HOW MANY?

MONSTERS: WHO IS ONE?

REVENGE: WHO WANTS IT? WHY?

Consulting their faces – stony, frowning, or blankly bewildered – he thinks: they don’t get it. Not like Julius Caesar, not like Macbeth; they saw the point of those right away. Not even like Richard III, which had posed a challenge, since a few too many of them had sided with Richard.

He takes a deep breath. ‘Off the top, any questions?’

‘Yeah,’ says Leggs. Break-and-enter, assault. He’s a veteran of the Fletcher Correctional stage, having played Mark Antony in Julius Caesar, one of the witches in Macbeth, and Clarence in Richard III. ‘We read it. But why’re we doing this one? There’s no fight scene, and it’s got, like, a fairy in it.’

TWO WEEKS TO go before the day the planets converge and the tempest is unleashed. They’ve now recorded the initial tempest scene, with the sinking boat and 8Handz in the bathing cap and goggles: it filmed surprisingly well. Felix will do his own first scene with Ariel next week. 8Handz has been so busy with the tech that he needs more time on the lines.