“Not tonight, Fielding,” I chastise. I’m tired. So fucking tired. And I have no interest in getting into it with him at four a.m.

“It’s because she’s here,” he says in a knowing tone.

I freeze where I stand, tempted to tell him to shut up but also morbidly curious to hear what he has to say. Is my connection to her really that apparent?

“You’re all twisted up with Little Wheeler sleeping in your wing.”

I turn in time to see him flop back down on his bed, then let out an obnoxiously long yawn.

“I get it. She’s hot,” he offers nonchalantly.

“She’s twenty,” I counter, my tone full of vitriol fueled by my own self-loathing.

“She always did want to meet you,” he muses as he rolls to his side and yawns again.

“She’s twenty,” I repeat. It’s the only argument that feels safe. We both know the real reason Maddie Wheeler is off limits. It has little to do with her age and everything to do with who she’s related to.

I wait a breath, then another, listening for the sound of his breathing as he drifts back to sleep. When I’m almost certain he’s out again, I walk back into the room and bend low, kissing his forehead and brushing the curls out of his eyes.

“It would be okay, you know,” he whispers without opening his eyes.

I freeze. Is he awake?

“Wouldn’t bother me,” he continues. “I’m fucked up enough already. You hooking up with Wheeler’s little sister wouldn’t do any additional damage. There’s nothing left to destroy.”

The truth of his pain crawls inside me and claws at my heart. He thinks he wouldn’t care—but I know him too well to believe the lie he’s telling us both.

“Go to sleep, Fielding.”

“Stop waking me up, Dumpy,” he grumbles.

I leave his room and pull his door closed, satisfied that I won’t have to wake him up again. I peek in on my mom and find her fast asleep, too.

Everyone’s settled. Everything’s fine. Maybe now I can finally get some sleep.

The climb back to my wing feels heavy. As soon as I hit the landing, I know why.

I’m pulled toward her room by a magnetism unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life. This connection between us is as strong as the one that ties me to my brother. It’s a force I know I can’t fight forever.

I pace outside her door, drowning in indecision. I want to see her. I want to return the favor and rock her world the way she rocked mine. And even if she’s fast asleep and that’s not an option, I just want to hold her tonight.