If it was cancer or Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s or any other disease, we would have made the same choice.

He chose to pause his life, and I felt compelled to do the same. Sometimes I think he resents me for following him home, but in my heart of hearts, I know it was the right thing to do.

Brooke and I were already engaged by then. I had won an entrepreneurship grant, and she was eager to get her master’s degree in art history from NYU. When I told her about my plans to take care of my mom, she was all in.

She originally agreed to pause our wedding plans and take a gap year before getting her master’s. She was adamant that she would move to Hampton, and I moved into a separate wing of the house so we’d have our own space.

Plans were set. Her flight was booked. All her things were packed up and shipped to Ohio, and I’d started unpacking some of her stuff the week she was set to arrive.

But the day before her flight, she called and said she couldn’t do it.

She loved me, but she couldn’t wait around for an indefinite amount of time.

She wanted to be with me, but only if I could put her first.

She wasn’t willing to share the podium with my mom and my brother.

The logical part of me understood. And looking back, I know she made the right call. Fielding and I have existed in purgatory for the last four years. We’ve put our lives on hold with no timeline or frame of reference for when we’ll be able to move forward.

I don’t resent Brooke. But it was heartbreaking to realize the person I considered my ride or die wasn’t even willing to ride.

I pined after her for a long time. I wondered if someday, maybe—when my life was less messy. When I wasn’t responsible for anyone but me—maybe we’d find our way back to each other, and we could move forward with all the plans we had made in college.

Brooke used to have what I thought was an unshakable hold on me. But I’ve learned what it means to have true, unconditional support. And I learned it all from the girl who came into The Oak and, honest to God, turned my world upside down.

Maddie showed me what it’s like to be unafraid. She taught me how to trust that someone could stand by my side, even when things are tough. She gave me space when I needed space. She was flexible when plans had to change.

How the hell Maddie Wheeler taught me more about life and love in the last few months than I’ve learned in the previous twenty-seven years of existence is beyond me.