“And say what? I’m trying to reach an airman who doesn’t want to talk to me?” I scoff. “No, it’s better this way. Cleaner. No temptation at all. I’ll just move on.”

I make it sound easy.

I know it’ll be anything but.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

There’s a teenage couple waiting to cross the street we’re stalled at. The stoplight turned red and the walk sign appeared, but they’re still standing there, too caught up in each other to notice. I’m jealous of two strangers years younger than me. Because I know what that feels like, and I’m worried I’ll never find it again.

I look away from them, catching Sloane’s concerned gaze in the backseat beside me.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Um…do you really want me to say it?”

No. “Say what?” Denial has been a close friend the past few weeks. I’m not ready to part ways with it yet.

“He broke your heart, Evie.”

The light turns green and the car we’re in starts to move again. I look out the window at the darkened street. “It was always going to end…whatever we were.”

“It was a relationship that you were too scared to call one and he was too idiotic to acknowledge was one.”

I never told Sloane about our final phone call. Never told anyone besides Ben. The short list of people who knew we were ever connected by anything more than my brother and his parents’ choice of home when they moved to Charleston two decades ago—Sloane, Noah, Harrison, and Emmett—all think things are unresolved between us. Tense, but unresolved. They’re not. I don’t need Gray to tell me to my face he’ll never give me what I need. His silence has said enough.

“Sloane, please. I can’t talk about this right now. Not when I’m about to…” See him. Two days ago, I found out from Noah that Gray was back from his deployment.

He’s here.

Home.

Alive.

Silent.

And tonight is Emmett’s birthday party. The timing could have definitely been better. I think he’ll be there, but I’m not certain. My heart is split on what it’s hoping for.

Sloane gives up on conversation with me and starts chatting with the Uber driver instead. I watch the downtown lights continue to flash by, a mixture of apprehension and excitement swirling in my stomach.

I spot him as soon as we walk into Malone’s. Other emotions temporarily drift away as relief smothers me. Part of me didn’t believe it, not until I saw him with my own eyes. I soak in the sight of him greedily, feeling the familiar awareness enter my system like a drug. No matter how I feel toward him, how I feel around him hasn’t changed.

Colors seem brighter.

Sounds sharper.