I grab my sneakers, spin, and head for the door. I think Gray might say my name, but I can’t hear a word over the loud rush of anger and heartbreak. My blood pounds in my ears as I jerk the apartment door open and slam it behind me for good measure.

Hard.

CHAPTER FOUR

Words blur before my eyes as I shovel tomato soup into my mouth.

After leaving Gray’s loft, I drove to my parents’ to feed the cat a very early breakfast and then came straight to the hospital. The first time anyone has shown up two hours early for the five a.m. shift, I’m sure. I tossed and turned for an hour in the on-call room, then decided to catch up on my charts.

It’s one p.m. now, and my bloodstream is mostly caffeine. I’ve never been more physically or emotionally drained.

I set the research article I was trying to read aside and unlock my phone. I like a meme Sloane sent and reply to an email from my mom, letting me and Noah know they arrived safely in Florence, before opening the unread messages Logan sent yesterday.

Logan: Sounds good.

Logan: Also…your graduation gift arrived

Logan: Let me know where to send it.

I let out a huff of disbelief at the realization I dumped this sweet, considerate guy and am wildly attracted to the living embodiment of the phrase catch flights, not feelings.

My mom once told me she almost fainted on her first date with my dad—because she was so nervous that she kept forgetting to breathe. When she said it, I thought that was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. Romantic, sure, but irrational. How can one person have so much of an effect on you that they affect an essential reflex? Now, I get it. When he’s near, Gray consumes oxygen like a fire. Like he consumes me.

I always breathed just fine around Logan.

I debate on what to reply, glad he’s not pushing for a time to talk. Aside from our respective residencies, I’m not sure what we would discuss. So much of our relationship and friendship were centered around school. Studying, applying to internships, conducting research, guest lectures, clinicals. The list goes on and on. I also don’t know what I’d say if he asked if I was seeing anyone. I’m not, technically. If we’d never dated, I might have told him a vague version of what happened last night. I even mentioned Gray to him once before, back in our second year. We got drunk on cheap vodka, and I confessed I’d been hung up on one guy forever. By that point, I was adamant about harboring only attraction for Gray. I said it mostly as a deterrent—because I thought Logan might try to kiss me.

Evie: Logan!