Upon further investigation, meaning Jade being a CIA agent and searching the dark corners of the internet for the answers that Dante didn’t bother to give me, she found the culprit. A skinny, bleach blonde model. A socialite in our area of Los Angeles.

She’s twenty-one, not much younger than me but still, Dante is thirty-five. A high-profile investment banker in the city. He was the perfect catch, so I thought.

But maybe whenever someone hits a certain point in their age bracket, he has to trade them in for a newer model. Did I mention today’s my Twenty-Sixth birthday?

Happy fucking birthday to me.

The thought of them together drives me insane, I did everything for him. He told me when I mentioned my virginity, that he was okay with it. He thought it was sweet that I was saving myself for someone special.

Meanwhile, he was screwing the model behind my back. Funny thing is, we were leaving for Hawaii tomorrow and the tickets are in my name… so I’ll be bringing Jade instead. But that trip, it was the one.

I had this whole plan, to open the windows and let the ocean breeze blanket us as I lost my virginity to him.

We had done everything else, minus him going down on me. He said it was gross, but I was growing so much more comfortable with him, exploring my body. One time, I even wanted him to choke me like I saw on a random porn search. But he wouldn’t, maybe vanilla is what I needed.

But who knows now.

Sex, everything boils down to it.

It's not like I don’t want to, it’s just that I’ve waited all through high school while all my friends lost theirs. Then, during college I was too busy with my books rather than boys.

It simply just never happened, so when it came time to have the opportunity, I can’t really explain what I was waiting for. Maybe it was fear, maybe not…

And the books I read… wow they’re morbid for someone who’s never had sex.

But tonight, I’m going to pretend I’m anyone else.

Taking a page from the books I read and jumping into a sexy dress to fit the character.

I’m going to stroll into that club and let loose.

I have one mission tonight, to lose the thing I’ve held onto for so long.

My virginity.

Fuck a few posts of me kissing a guy, losing my virginity to some random in a club will be me taking back control of my life. I’ll never allow another guy to walk all over me again. “What kind of guy do you want tonight?” Jade asks.

I think for a moment, “What do you mean?”

“Short, tall, covered in tattoos?”