His voice had enough expression to convince me that he had a colossal ego jam-packed into his Habitrail body. Great. I thought this day had been a little lacking in megalomaniacs.

None of us said anything — no leaping forward with outstretched hands and big smiles. I guess we just weren’t raised right.

“I’ve been concerned with you for quite some time,” he went on.

“That makes . . . almost one of us,” I said.

Unlike Gozen, the UD could smile. Or frown. “I find you very . . . interesting. From a scientific viewpoint, of course.”

“Uh-huh,” I said, staring at him in fascination. “I have a bit of scientific curiosity myself. Listen, how do they keep your boxes clean? Like, with an aquarium vacuum, or what?”

The Uber-Director had been gifted with the blush response to anger, and now his waxy cheeks mottled with a yucky purple color that would put me off plum pudding for the rest of my life.

He glared at Gozen. Gozen took several quick steps toward me, raising his oversize arm. I leaped onto the table, wings out, ready to fly around like a bat out of hell just to freak them out. Outside, strong winds pummeled the windows, and heavy rain all but obliterated from view the tall buildings around us. The thunder and lightning were constant. Yep, looked like a hurricane, all right.

Gozen froze.

I looked down at the Uber-Director. He was staring at me with a mixture of outrage . . . and hunger.

“Uh, you okay, UD?” I asked. “Is it okay if I call you UD?” I looked at Gozen. “Is he okay? Does he need a feed bag hooked up or something?”

Gozen lunged for me, but I jumped backward. His powerful fist, the size of a ham, crashed down on the table, bouncing me slightly. The table splintered, and I skittered to the other end. I knew my flock was on alert, and I took a second to glance at BoxBoy. His head was leaning to one side, as if he was tired, and I got the impression that if he had hands, he would have been rubbing his brow.

“Enough, Gozen,” he said softly, and just like that, Gozen straightened and backed up until he stood stiffly against one wall. If only I could get Gazzy and Iggy to obey orders like that.

“Get off the table,” the UD said to me. “The auction is about to begin. Once the monitors are on, you will all be silent.”

I heard Gazzy stifle a laugh.

The UD’s eyes met mine. “Do you have anything to say before the monitors are activated?”

“Yes.” I kept a straight face. “A hamster called. He wants his home back.”

Chapter 66

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