Greetings, faithful readers. This site has had over 600,000 hits, which is unbelievable. It’s not like we’re here dropping Mentos into Coke bottles or anything. This is just us. But I’m glad you’ve tuned in.

The big news of today is that we’ve all decided to settle down and go to regular school and stuff, and Fox is going to make a reality TV series out of it, called Bird Kids in the House! They’ll have like a hundred cameras all over the place, and they can film Iggy cooking and Angel doing her weird stuff, and Total listening to his iPod.

They can film Max leading.

Nah, I’m just kidding. No reality series. Our lives are probably a little too real for most people, if you know what I’m saying. Although, hey, if anyone from Fox is reading this, make us an offer!

We’re not sure what’s going to happen next. After our weird meetings in DC, we’re craving more fresh air and fewer desk jockeys. But it’s starting to occur to me (forgive me if I’ve been a little slow) that maybe we, the flock, I mean, should be working toward something besides just trying to eat enough every day. For a long time, our goal was to find our parents. And look how well that turned out for us. Now we’re fresh out of goals, and you know what? It feels a little — tame. I mean, if we’re not out there butting heads with the buttheads that are destroying the world, then what are we doing? What’s our point? Why are we here?

Granted, our options are somewhat limited, given the number of people who want to kill us, or worse. Plus, I understand there are pesky child-labor laws that will get in our way. Frankly, though we can do all sorts of cool stuff, we’re not actually qualified for a lot of occupations. Like, any occupation that requires actual education. Which pretty much leaves the entertainment industry.

But I’ve been thinking . . . maybe we could become spokesmutants. For different causes. We could be the poster children for both animal and child abuse, for example.

If anyone has any answers, drop me a line.

— Fang out

Part Two: ICE PRINCES AND PRINCESSES

Part Two

ICE PRINCES AND PRINCESSES

Chapter 25

25

MAX. FLY TO THESE COORDINATES. I rubbed my eyes, hoping it had been a dream. Then a topographic map flashed into my brain, even as the Voice gave the directions. I groaned inwardly, hoping the Voice could hear it. So much for our bit of downtime. As I watched the flock slowly wake up, the Voice continued to give me instructions.

Then it said something amazing. Your mom is waiting for you.

“Okay, everyone up!” I said, clapping my hands. “Up and at ’em! It’s a whole new day!”