I’ll go ahead and tell you: We’re in Antarctica. We’re here checking out the signs of global warming. Global warming may sound comfy — no more winter coats — but everything on earth right now kind of desperately relies on the climate staying as is. But if we give up our childish fears of catastrophic flooding, earthquakes, tsunamis, untold plant and animal extinctions, droughts, famines, and whatnot, we could just relax right now and let ’er rip!

However. For those of us who prefer the planet relatively undisastered, it seems clear that things have to change. I mean, we humans have to change our habits, our recklessness, our dependence on fossil fuels and beef.

Any questions?

Ali, Ju-Ju, Ariel, and Robin Bernstein from Palm Beach write:

Wassup up with no beef? No hamburgers?

Well, Ali, Ju-Ju, Ariel, and Robin Bernstein, Good thing you asked. For myself, I’m totally about the burgers. And steak. Shish kebabs. Stew. You name it, if it’s cow, it’s for me.

But this incredibly cool scientist I know, Dr. Brigid Dwyer, told me that livestock is causing more damage to the earth’s climate than cars. All the cars. For one thing, cattle “release” more methane and other greenhouse gases than even the Gasman, which is saying something. Plus, cattle eat about fourteen pounds of grain to produce one pound of meat. Which is energy efficiency in reverse. Not to mention the deforestation for their grazing land, the water they consume. It all adds up hugely. Makes ya think, huh?

— Fang

BitterGummy from Honshu writes:

Get off ur soapbox, man! When I want a lecture, I’ll go 2 school!

Sounds like you need it, BitterGummy. Try to stay awake this time.

— Fang

MinkyPuddin from Sydney writes:

Fang I miss u guyz so much. U haven’t bin in the newz lately. I am all worried.

Your #1 fan.

No worries, MinkyPuddin. We’re fine. More fine than we’ve been in a long time, actually.

— Fang

Shy Babe from Seattle writes:

Dear Fang, I wrote u last month. Do u have a girlfriend?

I recommend you stick to your own species, Shy Babe. Thanks anyway.

— Fang

Okay, guys, gotta go. Global disaster to document, scientists to talk to. And it’s dinnertime. I’m guessing it’s not beef.

— Fang

Chapter 46

46

“WHERE ARE WE GOING?” Nudge asked as we took off into the clear, crisp air.

“Just getting an overview of the area,” I explained. “A little recon. See what’s out here.” Since Sue-Ann’s death had revealed her to be a Bad Guy, I’d been extra cautious. Now we were gonna do a little looking around, in case we saw, like, a big trailer with “Bad Guys” written on the roof.