The night drags on until Brian, the head barman, tells me I can finish early. The bar is not as busy as usual.

In the changing room, I strip off the black shirt with Mattie’s logo stitched onto the left breast pocket and slip into a plain white t-shirt. The anxiety is already creeping back, prickling under my skin. What did Mom mean? Who was in my apartment? Passing the storeroom on the way back to the bar I almost trip over a cardboard box outside the door. I peek inside to see if it’s empty. It isn’t. Seven bottles, all gin. After a quick glance around, I take one of the bottles and tuck it into the bottom of my bag. Then I head through to the bar, where Brian asks if I’m having a drink. I think about it, not sure if I should add poison to anxiety, but I tell him I will, just the one.

‘Everything okay?’ Brian says as he sets down the vodka and soda.

‘Fine, yeah. Do I not look okay?’

‘Terrific, honey, as always. I just thought you were a bit quiet tonight.’

There’s a surprise. I didn’t know Brian paid any attention to me.

‘I’m fine, Brian, really. Bit of a rough day is all.’

‘I hear that,’ he says, pushing the vodka closer. ‘Get that into you.’

I do. Then I do it again. And again. Soon my mood is mellowing out, the bar and its bustle fading in the background. Then Stephen Black walks in the door.

I am so not in the mood for this. With more confidence than a three-year-old drawing a picture, Stephen Black thinks every woman is just dying to sleep with him. Some probably are – not me though. I don’t go for married men. From the far side of the bar I can deal with his advances, laughing, pretending to be flattered. It’s not a good idea to burst your boss’s bubble when you’re a month away from being made permanent. But I don’t know how to deal with him from this side. Maybe he’ll behave like he does in the office. Mr Nice Guy. Showing respect for everyone as he waits to be made partner. With the alcohol swimming through my veins, Mom’s words drilling through my brain. I’m not sure I care.

‘Hey, Becca,’ he says, leaning against the counter with a big grin. He introduces the two guys with him but I don’t catch their names. If they’re not drunk they’re well on the way. Stephen orders a round, including me in the order.

Should I stay or go?