There’s no hope of sleep. I lie in my bed staring into the darkness and let my worries fill the room. There is only one thing for it. I’ll have to tell Danny what’s going on. He’ll freak out, find some way to blame me. But I’ll have to put up with that. I need my brother by my side. He makes me feel safer. Ever since my first day in school when Ellen Griffin pushed me down the slide before I was ready to go. I cried with shock, but somehow Danny arrived on the scene, wiped my eyes and gave Ellen Griffin a look that made her squirm to the back of the playground. She never bothered me again. I’m not sure how long Danny waited in the wings in those early days, but I always felt he was there if I needed him. Now, I need him.

I wake up completely exhausted. The sound of traffic wafts up from the street below, letting me know the day has started without me.

I’m late. I’m supposed to be in work already. But I’m not going in. I can’t and I don’t care. A week ago I would have been a nervous wreck about skipping work. It would have been the biggest deal in the world. But that was before I slept with Stephen Black, before I found out a stranger was searching for me. Before my mother told me she took me. Before a detective started harassing me about Katie Collins.

I ring Bridgeway and King and tell the girl on the other end I won’t be in today, that I ate something bad or I’m down with stomach flu, I don’t know which. The girl says she’ll pass the message on to my manager, but Stephen Black will know it’s a lie, that I just don’t want to face him. I don’t care, he isn’t my biggest worry anymore.

In the shower the steaming hot water has a calming effect. The small Band-Aid the nurse applied after taking my blood sample is peeling away, so I grip its edge and rip it off, feel the sting bite into my skin. I wonder what the results will show?

The thought of ending up like Mom terrifies me. Lying motionless in a bed with my memories floating high above, unable to reach them. Knowing nobody as I smile at all the familiar strangers who come to visit. Will I be happy? Or will I be praying for death to hurry up and take me?