As the children grew older and the civil rights movement became more pronounced, the Albert family still functioned in their bubble of racial avoidance. Elinor didn’t participate in protests and didn’t have any talks with her sons about what it meant to be black in America. There were no references to the March on Washington, Martin Luther King Jr., or Malcolm X. She once made a comment that they would never travel to the South, which irked some of her family who lived in Virginia. There were never any family outings to protests, or any acknowledgment that mixed marriages still weren’t legal in several states and would remain so until 1967.24

And Frederick continued his infidelity.

Chris remembered that when he was a young teenager he once saw his father riding as a passenger in a woman’s car at a time when Frederick should have been at work. Once he saw Frederick duck, he realized that his father and the woman were engaged in something illicit. When Chris returned home and saw his father later that night, the two exchanged a lingering look that was an acknowledgment of what had happened, as well as an unspoken act of solidarity ensuring that Chris would not mention it to Elinor. And he never did.25

Flawed marriage and all, Elinor and Frederick remained devoted to each other. She knew that Frederick would never leave her for another woman, because she was the most important person in his life. They had been through too much together and were completely dependent on each other.

Even if Elinor wanted to leave Frederick because of his cheating, it would have been very difficult. He provided everything, so much so that Elinor didn’t even know how to write a check.26 “You know the sun rose and set in Ellie,” said Hope about Frederick’s feelings toward her aunt. “I mean, they did their bickering-back-and-forth kind of thing, but there was nothing that she could want and that she didn’t have.”27 The fire was still present in their marriage, she was in love with him despite his many flaws, and she was accustomed to her comfortable life.

Chris had started taking private trumpet lessons at age twelve or thirteen. Although Frederick was skeptical of his son’s talent, Elinor was an immediate fan, and Chris’s instructors lauded him for his perfect pitch. But Frederick’s doubts left an impression on his son. “In the first three or four years of playing, he said, ‘Well, if you can’t play what you hear, then you might as well quit now.’ And that came on very strong, because when someone says something to you with that much absolute attitude, it’s like, ‘Well, maybe I should give up.’”28 He didn’t quit, but a rift grew between the two men.