‘Well, I got into bed again, and five minutes later there came a bang at the door. It was a girl called Maria, a big fat peasant girl who lived at our hotel. She was a very stupid girl, but a good sort, and I didn’t much care for her to see me in the state I was in.

‘She cried out at the sight of me. “Nom de Dieu!” she said, “what’s the matter with you? What are you doing in bed at this time of day? T’en as une mine! You look more like a corpse than a man.”

‘Probably I did look a sight. I had been five days without food, most of the time in bed, and it was three days since I had had a wash or a shave. The room was a regular pigsty, too.

‘“What’s the matter?” said Maria again.

‘“The matter!” I said; “Jesus Christ! I’m starving. I haven’t eaten for five days. That’s what’s the matter.”

‘Maria was horrified. “Not eaten for five days?” she said. “But why? Haven’t you any money, then?”

‘“Money!” I said. “Do you suppose I should be starving if I had money? I’ve got just five sous in the world, and I’ve pawned everything. Look round the room and see if there’s anything more I can sell or pawn. If you can find anything that will fetch fifty centimes, you’re cleverer than I am.”

‘Maria began looking round the room. She poked here and there among a lot of rubbish that was lying about, and then suddenly she got quite excited. Her great thick mouth fell open with astonishment.

‘“You idiot!” she cried out. “Imbecile! What’s this, then?”

‘I saw that she had picked up an empty oil bidon that had been lying in the corner. I had bought it weeks before, for an oil lamp I had before I sold my things.

‘“That?” I said. “That’s an oil bidon. What about it?”

‘“Imbecile! Didn’t you pay three francs fifty deposit on it?”

‘Now, of course I had paid the three francs fifty. They always make you pay a deposit on the bidon, and you get it back when the bidon is returned. But I’d forgotten all about it.

‘“Yes ——” I began.

‘“Idiot!” shouted Maria again. She got so excited that she began to dance about until I thought her sabots would go through the floor. “Idiot! T’es louf! T’es louf! What have you got to do but take it back to the shop and get your deposit back? Starving, with three francs fifty staring you in the face! Imbecile!”