‘Sorry, didn’t mean to put you on the spot. Anyway, we’re stuck with him. He’s signed a contract for two years. We’re supposed to instil discipline, responsibility and some sort of work ethic. Frankly, I’m not optimistic. He’ll do the compulsory six months’ gruntwork like all the others and then I’ll transfer him downstairs. He can finish his time on the front desk, meeting and greeting the public. He’s handsome and charming – there’ll be a stampede of young women – and probably some young men – all clamouring to join up as quickly as possible.’

‘Speaking of girls, ma’am . . .’

‘Oh yes, Jane Lockland. Well, we were supposed to take on more women.’

‘But Lockland, ma’am . . .’

‘She was the only one who applied.’

He sighed. ‘Why is it that most women seem to avoid the Time Police like the plague?’

‘More sense than men,’ Hay said shortly. ‘Anyway, she might not be all bad. Her theory results were excellent so she’s obviously quite bright . . .’ She trailed away.

‘Ma’am, she’s so terrified of doing something wrong she writes everything down. Everything. In a notebook. The general consensus is that she’s wetter than a wet weekend. She’ll probably burst into tears if she ever has to arrest someone, and worst of all, word on the street says she’s not the sort of person you want watching your back. You know as well as I do, ma’am – they’ll ditch her at the first opportunity. They’ll fling her into some God-awful situation and leave her to cope. Make or break.’

She said doubtfully, ‘Don’t be too sure she’ll break, Charlie. But she has to do her six months like everyone else. Then, if she hasn’t already left, I’ll transfer her to admin where she’ll be perfectly happy moving files around, and it will free up . . .’ She stopped.

‘Free up a proper officer to get back in the game.’

‘Such a politically incorrect thought never entered my mind.’

‘She’s a gesture towards the quota, isn’t she?’

Commander Hay closed her eyes and with the air of one quoting the Oracle at Delphi, intoned, ‘The make-up of the Time Police must at all times reflect the diversity of those whom they protect and serve.’

Captain Farenden made a rude noise.

‘You do our leaders an injustice, Charlie. I’m simply following their shining example. At least thirty per cent of seats at the next general election will have female-only candidates.’

‘What? Regardless of ability?’

‘I don’t believe ability is high on the selection list when it comes to any MP, male or female.’

‘Diversity is good, ma’am.’

‘So it would seem. So far it’s got us Miss Lockland and Mr Parrish.’

They fell silent.

‘Which brings us to Matthew Farrell, ma’am.’

‘His abilities with the Time Map are well beyond his years.’