Rafe stands near the door, his arms crossed. He’s dressed in black almost all the time. Black T-shirt, nearly black jeans. The gun is still hanging from his hip, but he has his badge out, which is customary.

Murph is sitting on his work stool in his station. His broad shoulders are intimidating as he perches his elbows on his knees and stares up at me, waiting.

It’s just the three of us for now. The other guys, Murph’s other friends, would do anything Murph told them to, which means he told them to stay back for now.

Their eyes land on the black jacket under my arm as soon as I step in.

“Umm…” I mutter, unsure of how to start.

Probably best at this point to just dive right in.

“My brother was the smart one. He was the good one. I was the fuck-up. The drug addict, the lost cause. He had you guys, but honestly…I thought for a long time that if he had you, then he didn’t need me.”

Rafe tries to interject, but I hold my hand up. “Let me finish.”

“You guys had each other’s backs. And he tried to get me to join you, a lot. But I wanted to be alone. It felt easier to keep the disappointment to myself. Then, he died. And…I blamed you guys.”

Murph’s eyes land sharply on me.

“And I know you help me out for him.”

It gets quiet for a moment, and I lose sight of what I’m trying to say. Murph stands and meets me eye-to-eye. He’s a few inches taller than me, and easily the biggest of the group. His thick beard and gray patches at his temples make him the most intimidating too.

He grabs the jacket from under my arm, and I take a heavy breath, waiting to see what he’ll do. I won’t fight Murph. I wouldn’t lay a hand on any of these guys. But I’m depending on him to hear me out and give me a chance.

Opening the jacket, his fingers run along the patch the same way mine did.

“We did fail Theo,” he mumbles. “If I had known about his addiction, I would have stopped it. And in that sense, we failed you too.”

He holds the jacket out for me to take.

“Now we can either keep blaming each other for the shit we didn’t do, or we can start acting like brothers and take care of each other so it doesn’t happen again.”

I take the jacket and slide my arms in, reveling in the near perfect fit. Theo was only a little shorter than me, but he was equally as broad.

“This town has gone to shit,” Rafe pipes in from his stance by the counter. “I’m sick of cleaning up these little rich fuckers’ messes.

“Lucky for us, I know exactly who to blame,” I say to Rafe.

“So do I,” he answers.

21

Sierra

One month later

Days are crawling by. After my parents brought me back, I could feel my mother trying to repair her relationship with me, but I’ve completely closed myself off. They suspected I was on drugs for the first week because I rarely came out of my room. Logan ignored all of my texts, and the idea that he really was just using me for sex became less and less impossible. I refuse to believe that it’s anything less than him trying to protect me.