“Doesn’t mean I can’t help you out.” When I look over at him, I can see the words left unsaid. Something about my brother. The debt Murph wants to repay.

“Thank you.” I clap him on the shoulder. I don’t do this mushy shit. I gotta get out of here.

“If you want any of my extra shifts this week…” he says.

I nod in return. I don’t know why he’s being so generous to me. It’s not his job to fix what I’ve fucked up. And it only makes me feel worse.

12

Sierra

The beach feels quiet today. After grabbing the closest cheesy romance novel on my nightstand and throwing it in a simple bag along with a towel, sunscreen, and a bottle of water, I head to the beach.

I need to just unwind for a day—separate myself from the commotion for a minute. With my parents in my ear pressuring me about who I do and do not fraternize with and then the incident with Logan last night, my head is spinning.

There’s a nice, lonely spot on the northern end of the island that is perfect. It’s not entirely solitary. There are families and a few locals, but it’s not as crazy as the main drag of the beach by the pier.

It’s perfect for reading and relaxing.

Too bad I can’t focus on the words on the page. I can't stop thinking about Logan last night.

And not just the incident with Murph showing up, talking about the cops.

But also how close we came to finally throwing that little deal we made out the window.

And how freaking good it felt to come so close.

Why am I so crazy for this guy?

Is it really our history? The years and years of curiosity that turned into desire? Or is it something more? I refuse to believe it’s as simple as he claims, that I’m just a good girl in need of a rebellion—a little fantasy to fulfill.

That doesn’t feel right.

It’s more than that. I love how strong he tries to be when I see the tenderness underneath.

How he’s always trying to protect me. But also willing to push me. Challenge me. Tease me.

God, am I really falling for this guy? It was supposed to be a spring break fling, but my heart keeps arguing with me, knowing that deep down I want something more.

That if I really had control of my life, I would stay on Wickett forever. I would buy that bookshop from the old lady and run it myself. It wouldn't be the most lucrative business venture, but what do I even need money for here?

But I can’t put that kind of pressure on Logan. Would our relationship even stand that kind of commitment? No way would he be down for that.

Maybe it is a fantasy.

Dreams of a girl whose fate has already been decided.

I will go to Yale, like my dad wants. I will meet some white-collar boy there that makes my parents happy. Get married, pop out a few kids, and spend the rest of my years preparing them for the same future.