Chapters (10)
Cars are Japanese of course
Subaru and Mazda
And the Nissan that the missus takes
Nippin down to Asda
We’re a load of noisy parkers
We never do it neat
Drive the neighbours crazy
When we take up half the street
Unleaded petrol?
That’s gotta be a joke
Stepping on the gas we like
The smoke to make you choke
Carbon monoxide
Take a deep breath
Benzine dioxide
Automanic death
’Cos it’s all about noise
And it’s all about speed
And it’s all about power
And it’s all about greed
And it’s all about fantasy
And it’s all about dash
And it’s all about machismo
And it’s all about cash
And it’s all about blood
And it’s all about gore
And it’s all about oil
And it’s all about war
And it’s all about money
And it’s all about spend
And it’s all about time
That it came to an end.
Stinging in the Rain
| Stinging in the rain | I’m |
| Stinging in the rain | My |
| Skin is peeling | I’m |
| Stinging in the rain | I |
| Don’t like the feeling | I |
| Can’t stand the pain | It’s |
| Burning my flesh | And |
| Boiling my brain | The |
| Buildings are melting | I |
| Can’t take the strain | There’s |
| Blood on the sidewalk | I’m |
| Going insane | I’m |
| Crying and frying | And |
| Dying in vain | I’m |
| Stinging just stinging | |
| In the stinking acid | |
| (What a glorious feeling)… |
Curse
Cyanide in the forest
Dead fish in the sea
A loaded gun
Where the sun should be
May those who sold us
Down the river
As polluted
As the lies they told
Find their banknotes
Carcinogenic
Nuclear active
Their gold.
Repelled by Metal
I don’t drive, I’m afraid.
Never had the inclination or the need.
Being antimagnetic, I am repelled by metal
And unimpressed by speed.
Nor am I being ‘holier than thou’.
Thou art a godsend to be candid
You with the car and the welcoming smile
Without your lift I’d be stranded.
And it’s not that I dislike cars
Though noisy and dangerous I dare say
Money-eaters and poison-excreters, okay
But I don’t dislike cars, per se.
It’s just that I know my limitations.
I’d be all thumbs behind a wheel.
Don’t laugh. Could you park a poem
In a space this small? Well, that’s how I feel.
Neighbourhood Watch
It’s a sin
It’s a crime
Now we can’t tell the time
Our neighbourhood watch
Has been stolen!
Poem against Capital Punishment
I live in the Capital
and it’s punishment.
Fired with Enthusiasm
This morning
the boss
came into work
bursting
with enthusiasm
and fired everybody
Shavings Account
‘Not to put too fine a point on it,’
Said the Bank Manager, pushing my finger
Into the desk-top pencil-sharpener,
‘But you have a larger overdraft