She presses her lips softly against mine, and I feel something shatter in my chest. It's like she's crawling inside of me and warming up all of the frozen shards of what used to be my heart.

"I'm never going to be normal, Shelby. I'm never going to bounce back from what they did, and every time we fuck, I'll feel this way."

"It doesn't have to be that way," she whispers. "You can heal, Rafe. Maybe you'll never be 100% but who is?"

Pulling away, I already feel disappointment that I can't give her what she wants. "I already told you I can't talk to a shrink. It will ruin my career."

"But it's ruining your life," she answers, pulling me back to her.

She has a point, but she just doesn't understand how impossible this is for me. After a tense moment, she seems to relax. "Can you start with me?"

"No," I answer. If I tell you all the dark shit in my head, then you'll know, and it's not really stuff I want you to know."

"I understand," she replies, and I wonder if she's thinking the same thing. "What about the guys at the shop? Your friends?"

I almost argue back that they have lives of their own now. Murph is about to start a family, and Logan has his own mental shit to deal with, but I don't want to bog her down with excuses and arguments. So, I nod and promise her that I will try.

After we pack up the gym, I glance at the mirror again, and I feel a bolt of regret that I couldn’t just enjoy what turned out to be a pretty fucking hot round against the mirror. Maybe that's the motivation I need. If I can get shit right in my head, I'll be able to do all of the things that make her look at me like she did when I had her bent over like that.

As we take the elevator up together, her still holding my hand, the gnawing feeling comes on when we both have to face whether we will go into our apartments alone or together. We're always at my apartment, and as fucked up as tonight was, I don't want to let her go yet. So as we approach the two doors, I put a hand out.

"Give me your keys."

She glances up at me with confusion on her face, but she still does what I tell her, a hint of mischief in her eye. Taking the keys, I unlock her door, and pull her in for a kiss, holding her body against mine as we walk in.

"I want you to ride me in your bed tonight," I mumble against her lips.

But then I register the presence of someone else in room and throw Shelby behind me as I turn to find Ezra standing in the living room looking fucking livid as hell.

Shelby

"Ezra—" I jolt. Quickly, I step toward my brother, but he isn't looking at me. There's a scowl on his face and he's laser-focused on the man behind me.