I'm not this guy. I don't hurt people, not people who don't want to be hurt.

"One minute you want me to fuck you senseless and the next you want to talk?"

"You're deflecting, Rafe."

"Don't talk me like I'm a fucking patient."

"I'm not," she argues. "I'm talking to you like someone who cares about you."

"If you cared about me, then why do you do that? Why do you push me? Why can't you just listen to me?"

"Is this about me fighting? Because I'm not being obedient enough for you?"

"It's about you tempting me," I blurt out, and it was the wrong thing to say. I know that, but it's the thought at the forefront of my mind, and no matter who put the thought there, it was the first thing to fall out of my mouth when I opened it.

She looks offended, and I don't blame her. Resting back on her heels, I watch her purse her lips and glare at me, unafraid and angry.

"I shouldn't make excuses for you, but I know you didn't mean that."

My shoulders slump, and I let out a painfully long sigh. "Fuck," I groan as I drop onto the bench, lowering my head into my hands.

She sits next to me. "Maybe we're going too fast," she breathes, and for the first time ever, I want her to touch me. Just put a hand on my back or something, but I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to feel comfort.

But she doesn't because she's afraid of me.

I don't speak for a long time and she leans in, holding herself just inches away. "Whatever is going on in your head," she whispers. "It's not going to go away. You didn't do anything wrong," she says, reaching for my shoulder. I don't react when her fingers touch my skin. In fact, I lean into the contact.

"The shit in my head is dark, Shelby."

"They're making you think that, Rafe."

She's being too good, too kind. If she knew the truth...

I turn my head toward her and look her in the eye, hoping she catches the severity of my words. "I wanted to hurt you."

There's a flinch in her expression, and I know it scares her to hear me say that.

"I liked being rough with you...maybe so rough it didn't feel good to you."

Shame pools in my gut as I voice these dark things, knowing that I have just ruined every good thing we started. Then, she shocks the shit out of me by scooting closer instead of moving away. Her hand on my shoulder moves to my cheeks as she pulls my face toward hers.

“Don’t you try to be the nice guy now, Rafe Nolan. I’m the one who knocked on your door looking for a hate-fuck. I’m the one who tied a rope on your door. You think you’re the only one with dark desires? A girl doesn’t mouth off on purpose just to get spanked if she doesn’t want it rough. So stop beating yourself up. If you’re fucked up, then so am I.”