Guess the joke’s on me. I’m literally the type of woman who makes excuses for the abuse she endured. I even blamed myself for a while. Thought I just wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t good enough.

But my boys… They were the light of my life. Even when I couldn’t remember that life, even when I couldn’t remember who I was. It didn’t matter, because I still saw their faces. And I loved those tiny, nameless faces.

And that hasn’t changed. I love them. Each of my boys.

I know they would never believe that, but I do. My feelings for my husband, ex-husband, are much more complicated. I love the Giovanni I married and hate the monster he became. I hate him for taking my children away from me. For the physical abuse. But most of all, I hate that I wasn’t enough for him, because there was a time I would have done anything for that man.

When I found out he’d died, I thought I’d be happy. Relieved. I wasn’t. I wasn’t sad or upset either. I just felt… nothing. I thought I’d go and finally see the boys, since their father wasn’t there to carry out his threats anymore. I wanted to, but I also didn’t want to add any more stress to whatever they were going through.

Now, I need to figure out what I’m going to say to them tomorrow. I have so many questions about their lives, questions I probably don’t deserve to ask. Maybe I should let them do the talking, answer their questions the best I can, and pray that I don’t fuck it up.

Chapter Fifteen

“There a reason we’re meeting her here?” I ask Gio.

We’re early. He wanted to set up a fucking folding table and some chairs. Oh, and did I mention we are standing over what’s left of our childhood home? It’s nothing but a bit of burnt-down rubble. Most of it has been cleared away.

“Seems fitting. This was where she left us. This is where she can face us again,” Gio says.

“Since when did you become so symbolic?”

“Since the demon birther came back from the dead,” my brother grunts, grabbing another wooden chair and shaking it out until it’s unfolded.

“Remind me again, who exactly is the demon?” I ask. We’ve all been going back and forth, trying to narrow it down.

“Me.” Gio shrugs. “Because I’m the one who has no issues sending her straight back to hell.”

“You’re not killing her today, not in front of Vin,” I remind him.

“Why the fuck does everyone think I’m stupid? I wouldn’t do it in front of anyone,” Gio replies. “Especially not Vin. He has enough to worry about right now.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on with him?” I ask.