“As if I’d let another woman near me,” Tommy says. “As for you, my little deranged princess, I’m confiscating any knives you have.”

“Have fun finding them all,” Esther replies as she makes a hasty escape from the room. “I’m going out.”

“Hold up,” Tommy yells after her before following our daughter down the hallway.

I’m left staring into my wardrobe. Nothing in here is good enough. I have nothing to wear. What do you wear to meet your children after twenty years?

Nerves fill my body. What are they going to say? What am I going to say? Is there even a world where we could build some kind of relationship? I don’t expect them to accept me as a mother figure, but maybe we could be… friends?

Oh god, I’m a disaster. I’m going to screw this whole thing up. I’ve thought about this moment for years, what it would be like to be able to talk to them, hug them, learn about them. There is only so much you can find out online about the De Bellis family.

I know that they’ve started their own whiskey distillery, but I also know that they’ve kept the family business thriving. Although I don’t think they had another option. When you’re at the top of the food chain, so to speak, you can’t really just bow out.

And the De Bellis family? They’ve always been at the top of the food chain here in Melbourne.

I remember when I first met Giovanni. I couldn’t believe that someone like him was interested in someone like me. Someone living paycheque to paycheque. Someone with no real life ambitions, other than to survive. And then my Prince Charming came and swept me off my feet. It was why I didn’t hesitate to say yes when he asked me to marry him.

Who wouldn’t want to marry the most caring, considerate, mindful man they’d ever met? A man who wasn’t just romantic but handsome too…

For a long time, I thought I was blinded by his charm, that I didn’t see the real him. I know that’s not the truth, though. Something happened that flipped a switch in Giovanni’s brain. I don’t know what it was, but he was transformed into a cruel monster. I watched the light drain from his eyes and I couldn’t do anything to save him.

I’ve often wondered if it was the pressure… My father-in-law was killed two years into our marriage. Which meant Giovanni had to take over the family business. I also know he had to become a certain person to do that job. I just never imagined he’d bring that person home with him.