‘I know. I mean, because I am – I knew he’d be the same. I feel so bad, the last thing I want is to hurt him, he’s done nothing to deserve it.’

‘Why didn’t you just tell him?’

‘Because he wouldn’t have let me go, either. Not in the same way as her, with the guilt – though he’d probably try a bit of that if he thought it’d get results,’ she smiled. ‘But he’d try and convince me that it was enough – you know, being together. But he’s got his business and so he feels like everything’s sorted, he’s not missing anything. I was.’

‘Do you want me to tell him you’re okay?’

Robin expected an immediate yes but Becca shook her head. ‘Not yet. I’ve got to feel like I’m really going to do this. I’ve got to get my roots in so that no one can talk me out of it. When I know I’ve done it, I’ll get in touch with him. I don’t know if he’ll forgive me. I’ve been asking myself if I would and I don’t know. You’ve spoken to him, haven’t you?’ She sharpened. ‘What do you think?’

‘I’m not sure. I know he loves you and he’s frightened for you.’ But that might work the wrong way, against her; the breach of trust might be too huge. ‘He’s extremely loyal,’ she said. ‘He didn’t even hint at your mum’s situation.’

‘He doesn’t know. I’ve never told anyone except Tarryn.’

Robin frowned. ‘Really? Why not? And why her?’

‘Because she’s on the outside. She doesn’t know her – she’s never met her. It felt too … disloyal to tell Harry or Lucy.’

‘But if it helped you? All those years, when you were a kid … Even if it hadn’t made a practical difference, wouldn’t it have made you feel better, knowing someone else knew what was going on in your life?’

She shook her head. ‘I had to look after her.’

I think you’re worth loving.

‘Please don’t tell anyone,’ Becca said. ‘I’ve hurt her enough.’

‘If you don’t want us to, we won’t. I promise. But you know, if it helps with the guilt, maybe, in the end, it’ll be good for her, all this.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s not true any more that she hasn’t been out. She went to see Harry.’

Chapter Twenty-three