‘It’s like I’d convinced myself that going out and having a good time and messing round with drugs and blokes …’ She lowered her voice. ‘I was telling myself that’s where the adventure is. But it’s not, is it? That’s just stupid stuff. I looked at the others – especially Taz but there’s this Polish girl I like, too, Agata. And Ceci. She’s only nineteen, she’s Italian and she’s over here working, learning English, and it’s … brave. I thought I was daring but actually, all that stuff is just crap, isn’t it? You’ll probably think this is stupid, like naive or something, but I was inspired. They inspired me.’

‘I don’t think it’s stupid.’

‘I want to do something brave. The wild behaviour – I was actually just avoiding what I really wanted. Because I was scared.’

‘Tarryn said this is what you want to do.’ Robin gestured at the kitchen behind her. ‘Cooking professionally.’

Becca smiled. ‘Yeah. I know you’ve seen my Instagram so you know I’m really into it. And Mum probably told you.’ She dropped the cigarette, crushed it underfoot then dropped the butt in a bucket of sand by the wall.

‘Pretty much everyone did.’

‘I’ve only been here a few days, obviously, and I’m totally bottom of the pile – like, arranging side salads – but I feel like this is it. This is the adventure. Hard as it would have been in some ways, staying would have been the easy way out. I’d have used Mum as an excuse not to take the risk. But I’m going to do it – I am doing it. I want to work in Paris one day, that’s my dream. I took a bit of a risk, taking my passport from home, but I’ve promised myself, as a reward, I’m going to save up for the Eurostar and go for a weekend. I’ve never been before.’

‘Good for you,’ Robin said, and meant it.

‘But I’ve hurt my mum. Who knows how badly – very. Even paying for this, you – she must have sold something. But I had to. She’d have made me feel so selfish, I would never have been able to.’

‘What about Harry?’

Becca opened the packet again and took out another cigarette. ‘I love him,’ she said. ‘I have for years. Always. But I knew Mum wouldn’t like it.’

‘Because he’s mixed race?’

‘Yeah. When I had my moment of clarity at work, that was part of it, too. I suddenly realized that instead of this lovely bloke who I liked and who liked me, I was messing round with losers because I was scared. Scared of what it would mean to get into something real – serious. And scared of Mum’s reaction. Does she know?’

‘Yes.’

She nodded, resigned.

‘He’s gutted, Becca.’