She stops mopping at that, looks up and smiles. 151 ‘Of course, sweetheart. Go and get comfortable, and don’t stay up too late. I’ll finish cleaning up.’

‘You’re the best,’ I say. I grab the bread, some crisps, a banana, a pack of cookies and a drink, and walk as calmly as I can out of the kitchen.

‘Lance?’ Mum calls me.

I bite my lip. Stop. Look back. ‘Yes, Mum?’

‘Sweet dreams,’ she smiles.

I force myself to smile back, then make my way upstairs to the safety of my room. I just have to make it through the night.

13

Night Terrors

I stay up late, working my way through the food, and making sure I’ve got all the pee and poo out of my body so that I don’t have to leave my room until morning. After one last trip to the bathroom, I shut my bedroom door and, as quietly as I can, I pull my big chest of drawers across it, then angle my gaming chair between that and the leg of my bed so it’s going to be proper hard to open from the outside. I wonder how many more doors I’ll have to barricade before this is over. Then I leave empty crisp packets dotted around the floor. If someone was to get in, it’ll be like walking through autumn leaves – they’ll have no chance of sneaking up on me.

When I’m as sure as I can be that the room is secure, I check my CPAP over, strap on the mask and lie down on top of my duvet. I am bone tired. My legs are throbbing from all the jogging and creeping and stair climbing, and my eyes feel 153heavy and sore. When I close them, my brain screams at me to open them again. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that I’m safe as long as I have my CPAP on, the fear of turning into a sporeling, or of Mum getting into my room while I sleep, is almost overwhelming. Again, I think about making a run for it – away from Mum and the Christmas tree of doom downstairs. The urge to escape is so strong. But I force myself to calm down and think about the bigger picture – to think about everyone I care about and how I can help them. If I run, I’ll probably get caught, either by Mum or whatever was looking for us at the golf course. And even if I don’t, the hive will know I’m onto them and step up their game.