A soft bump behind me makes me turn to see Betty running into the kitchen to her food bowl. She looks up at me and Mum but doesn’t go psycho like she did last night, so I’m thinking that 149 maybe when Mum is glitched, she doesn’t freak out cats in the same way. And that gives me an idea. You know in superhero movies when there’s a character with super speed, and they run around too fast for anyone to see, setting up the room so that stuff falls on people and the bad guys punch each other instead of the heroes? Sometimes they do it with characters who can stop time, too. It was awesome the first time I saw it, but it’s been so overdone now. Anyway, I reckon if I can set things up just right, I might be able to get away with destroying the evil soup. So, I get a couple of Betty’s favourite treats from the tin, then call her over and up onto the counter top. I have to get the timing perfect and I’m sweating like a pig up a tree. I count myself down from three, but go on two, just to jumpstart myself into getting it done.

In one swift movement, I put a treat on the counter, right in front of Mum, turn off the microwave, open the door, and pick up the hot bowl with a tea towel. As Mum unglitches, I make sure my arm is right next to Betty. She suddenly goes nuts, arching her back and screeching. She leaps off the counter, knocking my arm so that the 150 bowl of soup goes flying out of my hand and smashes on the floor.

‘Oh man!’ I say, as Betty darts out of the cat flap. I feel a bit bad and make a silent promise to give her extra treats when this is all over.

‘Foolish cat,’ Mum yells, as the two pieces of bowl roll on the tiles, and the puddle of soup pools around our feet.

I jump out of the soup lava, and start trying to clean it with the tea towel. ‘I’m so sorry, Mum,’ I say. ‘I dunno what’s wrong with her. She seemed fine and then she just lost it out of the blue.’

Mum gets the kitchen roll and starts cleaning, too. She doesn’t say anything, but I can almost see rage seething out of her.

‘Mum?’ I say. ‘Are you alright? I’m really sorry about the soup.’ I know it’s a lie, but I’m pretty sure that lying is acceptable in this situation.

She takes a breath. ‘It wasn’t your fault,’ she says. ‘But I will have to do something about that cat.’

Oh shiz. RIP Betty. At least she’s a fast runner. ‘I’m actually really tired,’ I say. ‘Can I take my bread upstairs and watch TV in bed, please?’