LEWIS: Of course.

JULIE: I’d like that. But not when my girlfriend’s here. She gets terribly jealous. [Kissing him on the cheek] Au revoir.

CHERRY: [entering, she sees the kiss] Hey, slut! [She takes out her pocket knife.] I’m going to fix you once and for all!

LEWIS: Cherry…

CHERRY: [advancing on JULIE] Don’t try to talk me out of killing her, Lewis, I’m going to do womankind a favour.

LEWIS jumps in between CHERRY and JULIE.

LEWIS: Cherry—

He grabs her in an embrace and kisses her passionately. The fingers holding the knife gradually loosen and the knife falls to the floor.

CHERRY: [dazed] Wow…

LEWIS bends down and picks up the pocket knife and puts it in his pocket.

A keepsake, eh?

LEWIS: Yes.

CHERRY: Sorry, my emotions got the better of me. Will you tell Roy to get a hurry on? Ruth is driving us mad out there with her counting. She’s up to two thousand stars already.

JULIE walks past CHERRY on the way out.

JULIE: [referring to LEWIS] He’s the best lay I’ve ever had. [She holds out her hands to indicate a huge cock size.] It’s gi-normous.

She goes laughing.

CHERRY: You two didn’t?

LEWIS: She was only joking. [Ruefully] Teasing you.

CHERRY: Good, because I would have had to kill you or her otherwise. Love letter in the post tomorrow, lover.

ROY enters wearing a crimson smoking jacket and smoking a cigarette with a cigarette holder.

Hurry up.

ROY: Be there in a mo, darling.

CHERRY goes.

Well, Jerry, we did it.

LEWIS: Certainly did. Though I hear you had your doubts. Justin said you complained about my direction.

ROY: You do have a few teething problems with your direction. I made up a list of them.

He gives a list to LEWIS.

I know that you can take criticism because you must get a lot of it.

LEWIS: [reading the list] ‘Always use the word please and thank you when addressing the cattle, after all, they’re not actors.’

ROY: Got it back to front. Bit of a rush. You know what I mean, anyway. Read it at home. It’s rather comprehensive and it could be an instructive couple of hours.

LEWIS: Thank you, Roy.

ROY: Pleasure. Back to D ward. I noticed some of the wildest applause come from the D ward section tonight. I expect a surprise party for me. I’ll act surprised. Should I be wildly surprised, like this? [Demonstrating] Or be so astonished that I’m stunned?

LEWIS: Stunned.

ROY: I might do the opposite. The reasons for me not taking your advice are on that list. [Shaking his hand] Next year, a greater triumph awaits us, Jerry. The Don!

LEWIS: The Don?

ROY: Don Giovanni. Time for me to go beyond these ensemble pieces, time for a lead role. Humility can limit you. I was once a ladykiller in my time. [Whispering] Literally.

He laughs. He goes out trying out his wildly enthusiastic expressions of surprise.

For me?! Oh, you boys of D ward, what a bunch of hijinks guys you are. [He stops,] Jerry, turn off the lights on your way out.