“I’m not!” I screamed, yanking away my arm. I knew Jewel was gone. That opened the door for Ma to be free to whack me as long and hard as she felt like. I was hoping she would today. Maybe she would whack the thing loose from my body. But she didn’t touch me. She just stared me up and down.

“You ain’t lying are you?” she asked me. “Jew Jew told me about some boy you liked.”

I wasn’t surprised Aunt Jewel had betrayed me. Her and Ma could be thick as thieves when they wanted to be.

“I just liked him, that’s all. I’m not messing with no boy.”

“And you couldn’t tell me you liked somebody?”

“I don’t know …” was all I could say. Not that I was scared to, just that I didn’t think she would understand or care anyway.

When she let my arm loose I just went back to fixing my plate. She didn’t like missing too much of her movie, so maybe she would just go away and sing along with Diana like she always did. She didn’t know it, but one time I had found an old telephone bill stuffed in top of her panty drawer, when we hadn’t done laundry for weeks and I needed to borrow a pair of hers. Ma had spelled out Diana’s name like she was a boy she liked: Diana Determined, Intelligent, A Superstar, Not fat, Attractive.

“These boys don’t mean you no good,” she started. “They just wanna get your little butt and move on.”

“Whatever …,” I muttered, then I felt her fat palm in the middle of my back. I ignored her even more, hoping she would be spurred to hit me again.

“Whatever? Whatever? Oh, you think it’s a joke?”

I didn’t answer. I scooped a pile of sloppy joe on my plate. She always spiced it real good. I didn’t need bread. I hoped being busy would make her stop. It didn’t.

“And don’t talk to me like that. You don’t need to be out here messing with these boys. Go to school and come home. Do your homework. You got any?”

“I already did it,” I lied.

“Well, I don’t care. Get in there and read one of them books Jewel done brought you back from the library. It’s a whole stack of ’em on your bed. I don’t want to catch you smoking reefer either, ’cause I know that’s what y’all doing these days. I’m trying to tell you something for your own good.”

“You already told me. A million times.”