“Look, this shit is serious. These clowns trying me for priors on top of the present. They talkin’ ’bout me going to the clink for a while this time. I just want to get this shit over with so I know where the hell I’m gonna be. I can’t stand all this waiting, not knowing what the fuck is up.”

“Can I come see you?”

A soggy sigh.

“I’m gonna beat this and I’ll be back there soon and you can see me all you want at the crib, the way we used to. But, baby, it’s good to hear your voice, but I ain’t got much time. See now it’s a line here …”

“But I haven’t talked to you in so long.”

“I know. And I been thinking ’bout you. Believe dat. I been thinking about your fine ass.”

My insides knotted tight. Heaviness dropped out of my chest and landed between my legs. I squirmed and curled my toes like Aunt Jewel when she talked to the man named Hakim.

“Do you miss me?” I cooed.

“Baby, you know I miss you but I can’t get into all that right now. Time is money.”

“Well, I miss you.”

A coming question filled the silence and I waited for him to ask what I had known he would: “You ain’t told nobody, have you?”

“What?”

“You know … you know what.”

“About us?”

“What the hell else?”

“No. I ain’t told. I know I can’t tell.”

“Now I need you to promise me you ain’t gone say nothing, baby. I need your word on that.”

“Yeah, word is bond baby.”

“Word. ’Cause I can’t have shit more fucked up now than it already is. How my shorties?”

“They right here. Sleep on the couch. We was watching The Cosby Show.”

“Tell them boogers Daddy love ’em.”

“Tell me you love me.”

Another pause.

“I told you, I can’t get into all that right now. I’ll call you again.”

My good-bye hovered in the hollow of my mouth before I heard a dial tone. And when I put down the phone, I finally knew that man didn’t love me.

FIVE

EVENTUALLY, THE SONG ended.