When the show ended and Ma found one of her other favorite old movies, Imitation of Life, I laughed and shook my head along with her all while formulating different plans in my head. By the time the large Black lady was belting out that last funeral song in her dry, throaty voice, I had come up with dozens of scenarios. My couple days’ take had eased my mind, sedated me even, so much so that I had reached under the couch as everyone stirred awake the next morning. I casually walked into my room once both Jewel and Hakim emerged, placing the money under my mattress without even bothering to close my door first. At some point, I had to get up to Rasul’s and collect my things before he figured out I had money in my jean pockets. I knew I would call New Horizons first thing Monday morning to schedule the solution. I would go back and talk to Sue, who was sure to remember me because of how I had run out. I had counted back to the exact day I got pregnant, and I knew that at just six weeks pregnant they would have no problem getting rid of it. I would request the first appointment available and skip school for it. I wasn’t proud of how I had gotten the money, but was too relieved it would all be over before it began now that I had the means to end it. By the end of next week, I would no longer be carrying this baby and Ma wouldn’t have known a thing.

On Sunday night, the last thing Ma said to me was, “What you wanna eat tomorrow?” I thought about it for a while, my eyes glued to the last tense, revelatory minutes of Columbo.

“I don’t know. Spaghetti maybe.”

“Okay,” Ma said, lighting her last cigarette before bed.

ELEVEN