“Yes.” There was a long silence which Darby leaned into. She’d learned from Eban all about the power of silence and refused to be the first to speak.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

Darby still didn’t say anything. Only now it wasn’t a ploy or a punishment. She wasn’t sure what to say to this woman who’d she’d thought was her friend. On one hand she understood Jacqui’s reaction, especially when she herself had been so uncertain as to what had happened when she first discovered Martin’s body. On the other hand, the betrayal hurt. It stung more than the knife that had sliced her throat.

“I’m sorry for getting Professor Nilsson when you came in on Wednesday night. I just, he just… He’d told us to tell him if we saw you and I was so upset about Martin I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“I understand,” Darby said woodenly. Though Jacqui happily broke the rules if it suited her.

“Anyway, I wanted to tell you that Davis, Stef, Mohammed, Lenny and I, have created a website supporting you. We created another one honoring Martin, but we didn’t want to mix up the two messages. We didn’t want people arguing on Martin’s page, so Mohammed designed two. Our aim is to get the student body and faculty behind you, so you don’t need to worry about being ambushed when you come back to campus.”

It felt as if she’d been gone from the Institute for a million years. The idea of going back seemed foreign and strange.

She managed to scratch out, “I appreciate that.”

“Davis told me to tell you that he and Stef will walk you to and from your door and accompany you wherever you need to go. You don’t need to be worried about someone attacking you. We might not be FBI, but we are fierce.”

She was supposed to laugh but it wasn’t even remotely funny. And the realization that Eban would be gone soon gouged at her stomach. They hadn’t discussed what might happen next and the idea of him leaving hit her like a blow. She didn’t want him to go.

Loneliness rose inside her at the thought. Before she’d made do with video calls and text messages because it was all she thought she’d ever have. Now she realized how much she was missing out from being in his life…

But maybe he preferred the idea of long distance.

He’d said he wanted a family but hadn’t said when or if he might want one with her. She’d always wanted kids eventually, but not yet. Right now, all she’d thought about was getting her doctorate. She hadn’t given much thought to her life after that. What did she want?

She wanted everything, she realized. She was greedy and she wanted the whole shebang. Career, husband, babies—love.

“Darby? Are you there?”

Darby snapped out of her wandering thoughts. “Yeah, I’m here. Look, I appreciate you trying to help. And tell Davis and Stef that I might take them up on their offer, but we are not stopping at every bar we pass between work and home.”