She shook her head weakly. “Only if I have to.”

His dark eyes were full of understanding. He began systematically closing all the drapes, turning on one muted wall light, creating the illusion they were the only people in the world, all alone in the cozy cabin cut off from the world.

The kindling immediately caught alight, and she fed increasingly larger pieces of wood into the burner until she was sure it wasn’t going to go out any time soon.

She went and washed the dust off her hands. When she came back, Eban had poured them both a beer. He handed her a glass and raised his in a silent toast. They clinked glasses and both took huge gulps of the refreshing drink.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and laughed at his stern expression. “You look very serious.”

“I’m thinking about what you said in the car.”

“And?”

“And now I feel more nervous than ever before,” he admitted with a laugh that came out as groan. “I’m terrified of screwing up.”

“You won’t screw it up. I might.”

“It’s your first time. You can’t screw it up.”

“I can. I might.” Her palms were sweaty. She didn’t want him to say no.

“Honestly. I’m so nervous it feels like this is my first time too. I’m not a sex god—”

“You are to me.”

His gaze settled on her with a new intensity. “Then I guess the answer to the question is a resounding yes. I will have sex with you tonight.”

Her heart gave a kick.

He ran his hand through his short hair then over the scruff on his jaw. “I should probably shave—”

“Don’t.” She put her glass down on the nearby table and took a step forward to replace his hand with her own. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”

His eyes were as obsidian as the night, and she found herself searching them the way she searched the night sky for the North Star.

Darby wasn’t scared of the dark. She was scared of living without the light. Of being consumed by trauma, of never experiencing the good when it came to sexual intercourse. She was terrified of the prospect of living a life without ever making love to this man. Since the moment she’d met him, she’d trusted him to keep her safe. To help her navigate her way back to a normal life. She already knew he was extraordinary. She hoped she could match him. She hoped she didn’t disintegrate into a sobbing ball of tears.

He finished his beer in one go, placing the empty glass on the table beside hers. His hand caught hers. He kissed her knuckles.

“We need to take it slow. You must promise to tell me if anything I do scares or triggers you. It isn’t a problem to keep certain things off the table. There are plenty of ways to make love. We can cover a lot of ground playing around like we did in the hot tub this afternoon.”