In the bathroom he picked up his toothbrush and looked at it. The bristles were wet. He touched them, thinking, He cleaned his teeth with it. He wasn’t upset by this in the least, just mystified that something so mundane could carry so much meaning for him. These simple daily acts—the brushing of teeth, the sharing of a bed, the turning off of lights—had never seemed as wonderful to him as they did right now. Wonderful and terrible. He looked for meaning in them and found something so great, so filled with the possibility of joy, that he couldn’t comprehend it.

He brushed his teeth quickly, used the toilet, then returned to the bedroom. Hudson was already under the covers. He wore no T-shirt, his bare skin glowing in the light of the lamp and his hands rested on top of the quilt. “You really need to pull the bed away from the wall,” he said. “Or are you afraid of falling out?”

Ben peeled his T-shirt off. He didn’t know why, except that Hudson had. Nervously, he lifted the edge of the quilt, wondering if Hudson still had his shorts on and if he should remove his own. When he saw the flash of white cotton, he relaxed somewhat. At least you got that right, he thought, as if he were being scored on his performance.

“This mattress isn’t so hot, either,” Hudson said as the springs made their usual protest against being asked to carry any weight. “How old is it?”

“It was here when I bought the place,” Ben said. “I never thought to replace it.”

Hudson groaned. “You’re something else,” he said.

Ben, leaning back against the pillows, pulled the covers up to his waist. “I guess I could get a new one,” he said.

Hudson reached over and ran his hand through Ben’s hair. “One thing at a time,” he said.

Ben very badly wanted to ask him if he was going to be around long enough to make it worth getting a bed. He wanted to ask lots of things. But now, lying beside Hudson, he couldn’t find the words. All he could do was take Hudson’s hand and hold it, saying nothing, until Hudson spoke again. “One thing at a time,” he said again.

He leaned over, turning Ben’s face toward him and kissing him. “I’m going to sleep now,” he said. “All right?”

Ben nodded. “All right,” he said.

He slid down beneath the quilt, reached over, and turned out the light. Beside him, Hudson turned so that his chest was against Ben’s back. He slipped one arm around Ben, laying it alongside Ben’s and locking their fingers together. His face pressed into Ben’s neck, and he kissed him there, softly. “I’m right here,” he whispered.