She looked toward the bathroom. Steam from the shower floated into the bedroom. Brian was singing, badly and happily, the words to a song that had been popular the summer before. Caddie had liked it once, she remembered. She and Bree had played it over and over while driving to Laguna one day, until Sam had begged them to stop.

The sweatpants she tossed away, rising from the bed and walking into the steam. When she pulled back the curtain surrounding the tub, Brian held out his hand and helped her step in. Soap flowed down his body in frothy white floes, dripped from his penis in heavy drops.

She allowed him to wash her, even her hair. He massaged the shampoo into her scalp, and for a time the world smelled like mangos. Then the water was turned off, and despite the softness of the towel Brian wrapped around her, she felt the cold returning.

In bed again, she burrowed beneath the blanket and pressed her naked body against Brian’s. When he joked that her feet were blocks of ice, she closed her eyes and fought back tears. Only when he turned off the light did she let them fall, silently and like drops of rain, onto the pillow.

CHAPTER 39

CHAPTER 39

“Caddie isn’t here?” Hudson asked, accepting the glass of wine Ben held out to him.

Ben shook his head. “I don’t know where she is,” he said wearily. “Probably with that guy ...”

“Brian,” said Hudson, filling in the blank.

“Brian,” Ben repeated. “Or, I suppose, it could be anybody.” Hudson said nothing. He understood Ben’s apparent ambivalence about his daughter’s whereabouts, but it was unsettling to hear the defeat in his voice. It sounded as if he’d given up and, to Hudson, set a tone for their inevitable conversation that he found dispiriting.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Ben said, sighing. “I do care where she is, and if it has to be with some boy, I guess Brian is preferable to someone she just met.” Again the tiredness showed through his words.

“She’s just working through some things,” Hudson said.

“She’s still my daughter,” Ben snapped. He lowered his head. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “It’s not your fault.”

Hudson twirled the wineglass slowly between his fingers. He wasn’t so sure that Ben was right about that. In fact, he was pretty certain that he had a lot to do with Caddie’s current return to defying her father in the way she must know would be most hurtful to him. He wanted to tell Ben as much, but, selfishly, he feared it might place him at a disadvantage. He was ashamed of this thought and pushed it aside as soon as he recognized it.

“This whole thing,” Ben said, waving his hand vaguely. “You know, what Caddie said.” He didn’t look at Hudson as he spoke. “She’s just angry with me.”