He knew they didn’t, at least if one accepted the presumed limits of their capacity to think and feel. But certainly they possessed the ability to fear or not to fear and so were in that way similar to humans. Perhaps they were even smarter, as humans were known to stay when they should run, with disastrous results.

His fish-self regarded his daughter and his, what, lover? He supposed it was an accurate description of what Hudson was, if only temporarily. Given the chance, would he run from them or would he stay? Soon enough he would find out. They were, all of them, at the same crossroads, even though their journeys had begun in places far apart.

What would happen if you died? The question came to him unexpectedly, perhaps because Caddie still looked as if he might. Now that he’d thought it, he considered it. He could have died, maybe even should have, from such a rapid ascent. And if he had? If Caddie had towed a lifeless body to the shore and Hudson had come upon her kneeling over it? What then?

You would have died without ever really loving anyone, he told himself. At first he denied the truth of such a thought; of course he had loved. He did love. He loved Caddie.

But he’d never been in love. He knew that was what he was really asking of himself. He’d never given himself to someone else completely. He’d always held something back, even if he hadn’t known that he was doing it. He’d reserved the deepest part of him, the part that truly was him, because he’d feared that once he gave it away he would never get it back.

It was a terrible thing to realize about himself, and it made him ashamed. He’d wasted too much time. If he had died out there on the ocean, or on the beach, he would have left nothing behind. Caddie would remember him, but as what? Hudson might remember him as well, but for how long? He’d given neither of them enough to keep more than the faintest memory alive. Nor had he given any more to anyone else, certainly not to Carol, not to any friends he had. He’d kept them all at a safe distance from himself.

You sound like Scrooge, he thought, embarrassed at the maudlin sentiment creeping into his thoughts. Next you’ll be buying everyone a Christmas goose. He laughed at the idea and felt better. He was getting too serious.

He saw Hudson and Caddie talking again. They’re wondering what I’m laughing about, he realized. He’d forgotten that they could see him, that they were all on exhibit here, with no kelp or rocks to hide behind when it became too uncomfortable.