Hamilton shrugs, as if to say, ‘Obviously.’

LAMB: Iris, you know, she’s starting to have doubts about Santa. Her sister knows he’s not real, of course, so I’m sure that isn’t helping. But I guess we don’t want her to grow up too fast, you know? Let her stay a kid for another year …

(sighs) I gotta tell you, when Carol was pregnant with Iris? I was hoping for a boy. I don’t know if that’s sexist or whatever, but I guess since we already had Erin and … I just feel like boys are less naive than girls, maybe? (beat) But you know what the toughest thing is?

Hamilton shakes his head.

LAMB: Maybe it’s because I’m a cop, you know? I get that. But I’m terrified they’re gonna get raped. Keeps me up at night. Erin, she’s thirteen, right? She’s just starting to have (mimes breasts, awkward) … and every now and then I catch some dude, some guy in his thirties or forties, giving her a look and I’m telling you, I wanna go over and fucking break every bone in his body, right? And I know that’s wrong, but still, it’s there, that impulse, you know … (beat) Guys who fuck with children? I’m sorry, but they should get the death penalty. I know that’s not politically correct or whatever these days, but seriously …

(looks at Hamilton) Maybe you gotta have kids to understand this, I don’t know.

HAMILTON: I don’t think so. You want to protect what you love.

Lamb points to Hamilton, as if to say, ‘You got it.’

LAMB: But I bet you don’t believe in the death penalty.

Hamilton shakes his head.

LAMB: Yeah, no surprise.

HAMILTON: Why do you say that?

LAMB: Well, ’cause, you know … (gestures at Hamilton) Just the way you’re … dressed. Whatever. ’Cause you’re educated, I don’t know. The accent. You can tell.

HAMILTON: Oh-kay …

LAMB: No, it’s like … Look, you’re the kind of guy who uses words that makes guys like me want to, you know, punch you in the face, that’s all. (quick) Not literally, obviously. Sorry, that was … (sighs) You like football and, I don’t know, polo or whatever. I’m a hockey and UFC guy. It’s totally cool. (beat) Please tell me you’ve heard of UFC.

HAMILTON: (nods) It’s cage fighting.

LAMB: You’ve never watched it.

HAMILTON: Guilty.

LAMB: Course not. No one who did would call it ‘cage fighting.’ I’ll tell you this, friend: it’s the sport of the future. It’s like boxing meets martial arts. These guys are warriors. And there’s a whole ‘code,’ you know? Honour. It’s amazing to watch. After these guys finish kicking and punching and kung-fuing the shit out of each other, they hug it out.

HAMILTON: Sounds like bread and circuses, no?