Even with the cameras fixed on our faces, it’s easy to forget that we’re on set when I’m absorbed in conversation with Leah. Honestly, it’s a little strange to think that people are going to tune in and watch these regular, everyday moments between the two of us. As much as I wanted to give my fans an up-close-and-personal experience through this show, I can’t help but feel like I’m not quite delivering, what with me feeling like a zombie half the time.

April has been crazy, between shooting the reality show, and work I’ve been putting in to start a fashion line—which I’ve decided to name RACHEL K.—from scratch. I’ve had meetings with production partners and pitch calls with potential retailers, and spent hours sketching. It’s been exciting to stretch these new creative muscles, but also extremely nerve-racking.

Meanwhile, Mina’s been doing press for When I Loved You, which they’re rushing to get out by the end of next month; Sunhee had her first recording session for her radio show; Eunji’s booked two more modeling gigs after Vogue; Ari’s in the midst of previews for Seoul’s upcoming production of Wicked; and even Youngeun has been busy putting in extra time at her parents’ café, developing new (DB-approved) recipes and helping to draw in crowds.

It’s great to see all my groupmates living out their dreams, but it’s also strange to realize that we’re at the point in our careers where we can dedicate time to pursuing our own specific interests. And now that Girls Forever is at the top of our game, we can take longer breaks between performances and albums—actually, the longer we break between tours, the more rabid the fan response is when we do come back. I know that by the time we take the stage in LA this fall, our +EVERs are going to be more supportive and enthusiastic than ever!

Leah and I waddle in our toe separators over to the dryers. Once we’re seated, my phone pings with an incoming message. I glance at the screen and grin.

“What are you smiling at?” Leah asks.

“It’s—” I pause, remembering that the cameras are still rolling. “Appa.”

She gives me an amused look. “Right. Got it.”

I glance over at where the cameras are set up. There’s only one camera operator today, with a handheld on his shoulder. I can tell from where he’s standing that he won’t actually be able to see my phone screen, so I tilt it toward Leah and let her read.

Alex: I’m currently passing by a pet store and I just thought of the perfect name for a tuxedo cat… Armani. Or Ar-meow-ni?

Me: Stopppp. What’s the deal with your family and cats? Aren’t you allergic??