Whenever I get stuck on what we should do next, Alex breaks it down for me with options. A) Visit a bakery and picnic by the Eiffel Tower. B) Take a sunset boat ride on the Seine. C) Grab drinks in the Bastille. D) All of the above.

The whole day, I have my own multiple choice on loop in my mind.

Should I kiss Alex?

A) Go for it!

B) No way. What if someone sees and takes a photo? Don’t be so reckless.

C) Besides, are you really ready to make a romantic connection? Think with your head, not your heart!

D) But what if I just… kiss him?

Earlier today while we were walking along the Seine, our hands brushed against each other and I felt tingles all the way up my arm. For a second, he stopped walking. I stopped too. He looked me in the eye and then smiled that smile of his, that dimple in his left cheek making him look simultaneously adorably boyish and sexy as hell.

“You know I really want to hold your hand, right?” he said. He laughed, rubbing the side of his face. “And I wanted to earlier at that café, too. But I’m trying to play it cool.” I giggled at his attempt to “play it cool,” but then he continued with a more serious tone, “I remember what you told me about how relationships are for K-pop stars. I don’t want to pressure you or put you in a situation you don’t want to be in. And I don’t know if I need to say this, but just to make it really clear, I’m not interested in your fame. I’m interested in you and your ability to make riding the Singapore subway look like an extreme sport.”

I burst out laughing at that. I didn’t know what else to say. He was so honest. No games, just candid truth. “Thank you,” I said, “for saying all those things.” And then I reached out and grabbed his hand, threading my fingers through his, and we continued our stroll down the river hand in hand. In that moment, the thrill of his touch overrode the risk of it.

As we continue to explore the city, I can’t shake the conversation out of my head. Or how badly I want to kiss him. I haven’t felt anything like this since I was with Jason—but at the same time, this is so different than when I was with him. I can hardly compare the two. With Jason, everything was intense and explosive, in both good and bad ways. Looking back now, it was puppy love. But with Alex, I feel grounded, and the thought of being with him feels like both safety and freedom and wide-open possibility.