I laugh and shake my head, though it’s not that far off from the truth. “Not a pumpkin. I look terrible in orange. But…” How do I explain this to someone who lives completely outside our bubble? “The rules in my industry are kind of… complicated. We’re expected to uphold this image of the perfect, innocent girl next door who has no interest in dating. Our loyalty is meant to be for our fans and our fans only. And don’t get me wrong, it is. We absolutely love our fans. It’s just tricky. We don’t want to disappoint people, and if we do, then our sponsors are disappointed. And then it’s a whole disappointment parade that ends with getting fewer bookings, and of course then there’s the media always trying to spin a scandal and… Like I said. Complicated. Even being seen alone with a guy can lead to big misunderstandings.”

His brow furrows in confusion. “But I mean, we’re not alone,” he says, gesturing around the café. “And… it’s your life. Wouldn’t your label back you up if you wanted to start dating someone? Or you know, spend more time in cafés with your old friend from Bubble Day?”

Back me up. Right. I shake my head, thinking of Kang Jina from Electric Flower who was kicked out for having a boyfriend. That was an extreme case, but I don’t want to find out what other punishments DB can dole out. The thing is, when you’re on their side, when you’re favored by the company, like I am, your experience can be truly amazing. Challenging, but glorious at the same time. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have so much support from DB for so many years. And yet… they are a business. I just don’t want to let them down. I don’t want to let anyone down.

I explain as much to Alex and he nods slowly, some of the brightness in his eyes fading. “Oh wow. Okay. I didn’t realize.”

“Yeah,” I say regretfully. “So, I should just go back. Probably. I mean, it would be the smartest thing to do. I think.”

He raises an eyebrow, smiling gently, his dimple just barely appearing in his left cheek. “Okay, Rachel Kim. Let’s solve this question Bubble Day style.”

I laugh even though I have no idea what he’s talking about.