Sunhee: Do you think you’re going to have to break up with him?

Sunhee: Have you seen this?

With the last text comes a link to some website, but the preview of it is slow to load.

Of course. I should have known Sunhee wasn’t reaching out with genuine support. She’s just living for the drama. And now I’m back to worrying if one of my groupmates really was the anonymous tip. Still, I want to know what the “this” is that she’s referring to. I’m terrified the link will bring me to photos of me and Alex together, or some other bit of undeniable proof of our relationship, but instead it just brings me to a forum page where netizens are speculating and theorizing. Some are saying everyone should respect my privacy; some think we’d make a cute couple. There’s also someone who, for some reason, is convinced I’m engaged to an American pop star. It’s all actually pretty tame and nice, and I’m struck with gratitude once again that I have the best fans in the world. But then my eyes zero in on the comments that Sunhee must be referring to—there’s a thread of comments badmouthing Alex, saying he’s just with me because he wants to become famous.

I’m about to write back to Sunhee to assure her that it’s all just gossip, but my fingers pause over the screen. It doesn’t feel right to just let the internet run wild with hurtful gossip about Alex. He didn’t sign up to be a public figure, like I did. But at the same time, if I try to set the record straight, I’ll just be confirming the existence of our relationship—a step I don’t think either one of us is ready for. I sigh and put my phone away. I’m old enough now to know that communication is key. When I see Alex today, we’ll sit down and talk through everything.

But as soon as I get to the shoot location—a gorgeous ski chalet near the Matterhorn peak—I’m whisked away to hair and makeup. From the hair and makeup trailer, I enter the main lounge, dressed in Discipline’s soon-to-be-released metallic olive-green winter parka, a high-fashion-meets-high-function look. The stylist on set paired it with simple black leggings and almost tactical-looking boots. I can tell Discipline’s winter line is meant to make me feel powerful. Adventurous. But still fashion-forward. Like I could ski a black diamond, then pop into a five-star slope-side restaurant for drinks. I try to channel that energy as I make my way toward set.

“Rachel, you’re here!” Carly Mattsson enters the lounge in a black parka of her own. We’ll be modeling together today, and I feel myself perk up a little at the thought of being dressed in matching outfits with the Carly Mattsson.