Okay. Oh my god. It’s done. As soon as I’m sure it posted, I turn off my phone and stick it under my pillow to make sure I’m not tempted to recheck it a thousand more times. I’ll be constantly refreshing my feed if I don’t. I can already feel my fingers itching to grab my phone and see how people are responding, so I quickly leave my room to wash up and join the others for breakfast.

There’s nothing like croissants to start the day. They’re buttery and flaky just like Leah said, and I inhale half of mine before I even take my first sip of hot tea—an Earl Grey with extra whole milk, which is my go-to on those rare cozy mornings in. For the better part of breakfast, I’m able to ignore the anxious butterflies in my stomach and just enjoy celebrating the launch with my family. But the pastries are gone all too soon, and even though I have a stylist coming over at ten to help me get ready for an interview, I’m too nervous to focus, so instead I offer to help Leah pick out an outfit for SayGO’s upcoming fan meeting. Then I flop down on the living room couch and flip through the channels, barely registering what’s on the screen, until Appa comes in and asks why I’m watching the animal channel, and I suddenly realize I’ve been tuned into the mating rituals of meerkats for who knows how long.

Just as I’m dying to check my phone, the stylist, Missy, arrives, and we move into a frenzy of outfits and hair and makeup. I can hear my phone dinging from inside my room.

“Do you want me to take a peek first?” Missy asks as we wrap up, seeing me visibly twitching to grab my phone. Jongseok will be here in about five minutes. I’m meeting the interviewer at a cute café nearby.

“It’s okay,” I say. “I got this.”

If there’s anything I learned from being in the entertainment industry for the past six years, it’s that you have to brave the public eye sooner or later. No one can do it for you, no matter how much you might want them to.

At the last second, I grab my phone as I head out the door, and take a look as I step into the car waiting for me out on the street. My lock screen is flooded with texts.

Suddenly, the breakfast sandwich threatens to come back up, and all the nerves I’ve been trying to hold back take over.

I quickly tap in my pin and start scrolling through the messages.

Carly Mattsson: Rachel, LOVE your bags! Congratulations!! I’m so proud and excited for you xoxo.