Just as Yujin suspected, DB was happy to let me assume the role of hostess for the Girls Forever anniversary event—and made sure all the media outlets knew I’d be doing so. Over the past three weeks, I’ve logged countless hours arranging menus (Sumin is allergic to strawberries; Jiyoon hates artichokes) and consulting schedules (must not conflict with Sunhee’s radio show, Ari’s musical, or Mina’s acting gigs; all nine of us must be present per DB mandate). And of course, all the while I’ve been finalizing plans for my brand launch, which is somehow now only a week away. Before heading to the restaurant tonight, I sent off the last of my eighteen sketches for the Lane Crawford second season. It took more than one honey-butter-chip-fueled all-nighter to get it done, but I managed to pull it off. Pressing “send” on my email to Celeste this afternoon felt like an immense weight had been lifted. I know tonight’s dinner is just as much for the media coverage as it is for us, but still, I can’t wait to enjoy a relaxing evening celebrating with the girls.

As we pull up to the restaurant, my phone pings with an incoming message.

Alex: Happy anniversary!!

My heart flutters seeing those words typed out from Alex. I know he’s referring to Girls Forever, but still—I’m instantly transported to some future day when we’re celebrating an anniversary of our own. I feel the now-familiar tugs of guilt and longing. There’s so much I want to say to him—about us, our future, my fears, my hopes. But it never seems like the right time, with so many other commitments vying for my attention, and with the paparazzi ready to expose us at every turn. For now, I send him a string of heart emojis before tucking my phone away into my pocket.

The press is already out front at OASIS411 by the time I arrive. I wait in my car until all the girls arrive so we can enter the posh, palatial restaurant together. OASIS411 is the total opposite of Marigold House, where Eunji and I had our double date. It’s ostentatious and high-end and all about the opportunity to see and be seen. The group arrives shortly after I do and the cameras go wild, snapping photos of us as we hug in greeting and linger in the warm July breeze, giddy and excited for our celebration. We even take one official posed shot in honor of our sixth anniversary, arms looped around each other, before waving at the paparazzi and disappearing into the restaurant.