Until then, I was committed to my misery.

“…next game. That’s where our focus needs to be. We’re not out of this race — not even close. We’re all but guaranteed a bowl game at this point,” Holden said as I came to, realizing I’d missed the first half of his speech. “Mark your mistakes, fix them, and come back hungry for more. We all have our jobs to do. Win as a team, lose as a team,” he said, pausing. “And fight as a team.”

Coach Sanders watched the speech unfold in the corner of the locker room, his arms folded. He clearly wasn’t happy with how the game played out, either, but he let his captain take full control.

All around the locker room, players nodded their heads, fierce determination etched in their brows as they gathered around where Holden had extended his hand. They covered it with theirs, and Holden’s eyes met mine, the signal for me to take over and yell out one of our team chants.

But I didn’t have it in me.

I sniffed, looking down at my hand at the top of the pile.

“Fight on three,” Holden said. “One, two—”

“Fight!”

The team’s response echoed around us for only a moment before the gentle murmur of talking and packing up filled the space, some heading toward the training rooms or showers, while others opted to just go home.

Holden was at my side before I could so much as untie my cleats.

“Let’s take a walk,” he said, and he didn’t wait for me to confirm before he was sauntering out of the locker room.

I begrudgingly followed him, and since the field was still covered in fans, players from the other team, and the media circus, he steered me toward the weight room.

“Sit,” he said, pointing at a bench. When I did, he hung his hands on his hips, staring at the ground for a moment before he looked at me. “What happened?”

“I don’t—”

“I don’t care if you don’t want to talk about it. You’re a part of this team, and you’re a big reason why we pulled an L today. You were shit in coverage, and giving us twenty percent of your all, at best.”

I was ashamed at how spot on that assessment was.

“So, as captain, it’s my job to figure out what’s going on whether you want me to or not. You can either tell me now, or I can make your life a living hell every practice until you do.”

I flattened my lips. “What, you going to make me run laps?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

I shook my head, balancing my elbows on my knees as my shoulders drooped. “It’s family shit. Nothing I want to share with anyone — no offense.”

“Did someone die?”