Douglas and I stood arm in arm. My coat was tight at the front, but did cover me. ‘I shan’t be able to do it up soon.’ I laughed. Douglas put his arm round me in a show of protectiveness. And I felt very aware of us as a couple, how we must look an exclusive unit, shutting Olivia out. Her face became closed suddenly. She looked at us with a strange, frozen expression.

‘Livy?’ I stepped aside from Douglas, concerned. ‘Are you sure you’ll be all right?’ I almost felt compelled to call it off, say I’d stay. But she forced a wan smile to her face. ‘Yes, of course. Go along now, do. Have a lovely evening, won’t you?’

I didn’t have a lovely evening. Though I tried to pretend otherwise to Douglas, I felt very uneasy. There was the strangeness of being alone with him, of feeling we had so little to say. And I was worried. That look of Olivia’s, something in it hard and realized, which lingered in my mind. By the time we arrived home I was taut with anxiety. I rushed through the house as fast as I could manage in my condition. There was no sign of her downstairs. I climbed the stairs and stood panting at her bedroom door, feeling so foolish when I found her settled in bed. She was sleeping with the little lamp still on, her face severe. I knew that tonight was a warning, though small, that all was not yet well, despite the warm moments with her when I might be lulled into thinking her recovered.

Chapter 26

‘What d’you think?’

Olivia burst into our sitting-room which was full of April sunshine and curving tulips. She stood in front of me twirling this way and that.

‘What on earth?’ I gaped in astonishment at the silky, sea-green material, the close-fitting bodice and abundant, flowing skirt. The dress was everything we had longed for during the scrimping years of the war. Most of us were still longing.

‘Isn’t it a dream?’ Olivia said, still turning in front of me so I could see its effect from all angles. ‘A real Dior dress – it’s the New Look. I just couldn’t resist something with a bit of go in it.’ On her feet were a pair of matching green shoes with high, slim heels.

‘It’s beautiful,’ I said, lolling back wearily in my chair. The sight of her looking so thin and elegant made me feel ungainly. The baby was due in three weeks and I was huge and sluggish. ‘Are you going anywhere in particular?’

She was jittery with excitement. ‘Not yet. But I was thinking, it’s about time I started putting myself about a bit more.’ She twitched at the skirt, taking a fold between finger and thumb to pull it wide, and dancing round on our worn square of carpet, singing ‘I’m gonna meet, a certain party at the station . . .’ She danced too long and hard and stumbled, nearly falling, so that she had to save herself by grasping on to the other armchair.