She begged some more, and though her mom seemed to soften, it became clear she may not get what she wanted without bringing in the tears. Her mom always said she hated to see Nem sad.

She'd just worked herself up to crying, when the smack came from nowhere. This caused her to jump in surprise and she knocked a glass from the table which shattered on the floor. Her hand went straight to the side of her face, patting at the stinging skin and the throb of her right ear, which had caught most of the force.

The slap didn't come from her mom. She had never hit Nem; barely even raised her voice to her daughter. Alan, her mom's boyfriend, was a completely different case. She'd grown accustomed to slaps here and there when her mother wasn't around.

But what was he doing here in the afternoon? His normal routine was to leave early in the morning to return well after eight. She hadn't heard him re-enter their small apartment today.

He'd been in their lives for six months. At first, he was a great addition to what was already the best school year so far. Grade Four was when she found her confidence in reading and had fallen in love with stories. Her mom had collected books to give her since before her birth.

But the book she wanted still wasn't hers yet.

The beautiful green-covered wonder would be hers one day. At least that's what she'd been promised. "Only when you're old enough,” her mom had said.

What age old enough might be drove Nem crazy.

Her heart's desire lay hidden in a locked closet in her mom's room. On occasion she'd spy her mother looking through the mysterious book, with its ornate gold-etched design on the cover and spine.

Whenever she asked to see the contents, she received the same answer. "There're secrets inside these pages. And magical words."

Despite Nem's pleas, her mom always replied with a smile, "Ah-ah, it's only yours if you study hard at school."

She hadn't seen the book in a long time, not since Alan had arrived. He was okay at first and theirs was a happier household than it had been in forever. Her father died when she was a baby, but she knew her mom missed him. Missed him very much.

Before Alan came, Nem's mother cried at night and talked to somebody who wasn't there. Through the thin walls she caught snatches of words.

"You're to blame. You killed something, something… danger… something."

When she slipped into her mom's room though and climbed into her bed to offer comfort, there was nobody.

"Who were you talking to?"

Her mom had wiped the tears from her own eyes and kissed Nem's cheek. She'd make an excuse of exhaustion, from looking after them both. Without a dad, life was hard.

When Alan arrived in their lives, Nem felt happy at first. He smiled and shook her hand. "Aren't you the cute little one? You look like your mom and she's a cute big one."