A memory of long ago rushed in.

A click.

The satisfying clunk of the cog of fate nestling into place.

This wasn’t a random event created by an innocent couple’s argument. This was a message telling her she’d chosen the wrong path. A life filled with love and children and happiness was not her destiny. Hers was another future. This very scenario of love and trust had been her mother’s undoing. Her murder, the result of not choosing wisely, or not noticing signs and listening to fate’s whispers.

When first awakening, she’d presumed this was her punishment, her baby’s death the sacrifice for everything the diary had taken from others. Instead though, she saw this was her lesson, just as her mom’s murder was another chapter in her education.

She thought of Greg and their fight, and how quickly the anger had arisen within her. To believe she could live her life with caution, controlling her emotions, was a foolish gambit. An impossible task. For she had no more guarantee she could control her feelings better than any other person did. She might control the power of serendipity but that did not mean she controlled herself.

The nurse’s voice interrupted her thoughts, and she turned her head to look in her direction. The pain caused her to wince, but compared to the ache when she thought of what she must do, this was nothing.

“So, do you want me to call your husband to come back?”

When Nem spoke, to her the voice she heard came from a distance, an echo of someone else. Perhaps this was her doubt. Could she really move her lips and say what was needed? Did she truly desire what would come from those simple words? Words to change her life; once spoken, that’s what they’d be.

She must speak them, because she loved Greg and didn’t want to have him hurt by her ever again. He deserved better than what she could offer.

“No, I’m tired. I need to sleep. Tell him something for me? Please?”

“You’ve been through a lot. Course. What do you need?”

The nurse smiled, possibly expecting her to make a declaration of love a la all the romantic, completely fantastical films. Well, Nem would deliver part of the fantasy in her first line but here would be no happy ending.

“Can you let him know I love him? That I’ll always love him.”

Belinda stroked her arm and smiled. Everyone loved a happy ending, didn’t they?

“And something else please.”

“Sure,” she said, running her hand across Nem’s forehead. “Whatever you want.”

Nem paused, thinking what these words would mean, knowing once she’d spoken them she couldn’t take them back, no matter how much she desired them to be erased. This was her line in the sand for her life. She exhaled, long and slow, wishing the waterfall had been real. Why didn’t it take her deeper to drown, so she wouldn’t endure the coming pain?

You can do this. You must do this. And she thought of her mom and the look in her eyes when she’d screamed, “I’m sorry. Run, gooo…”